“Dang! I’ve been really careful on my diet and I haven’t lost a pound. I’m ready to give up the whole thing and toss the stupid scale through the window.”
“That’s kind of killing the messenger, isn’t it?”
“You miss the point. I’m eating healthy. I’m working out like a machine – and this is the result I get? Might as well just go back to how I was before.”
“I don’t know if that makes sense.”
“Why not?”
“You’re not losing now — and you’re being careful. If you just throw caution to the wind, won’t it get worse? I mean; I understand how frustrated you are, putting in all that work and having disappointing results; but it seems that’s better than gaining.”
“I’m not saying I’ll go put my weight back on. I’ll just — you know — cruise for a while. Stop trying so hard and stressing about the number, I’ll maintain. Then, when I’m ready, I’ll get back to losing.”
“Can I ask you a personal question?”
“Sure.”
“If you know how to maintain your weight, why do you need to lose 30 pounds?”
“Because I didn’t do it; I got sloppy. You know, a couple extra drinks, nibbling off the kids’ plates, ordering the large fries — that kind of stuff. It added up.”
“So you were purposely trying to gain weight?
“No, I told you, I wasn’t paying attention.”
“And now you are?”
“Yes, but it’s not working.”
“So, if you go back to the way you were, won’t you also go back to putting on even more weight?”
“I don’t follow.”
“You said you were going to, cruise, take it easy; maintain where you are. That’s what you were doing before. And you put on those extra pounds.”
“No, THEN I was sloppy. Now, I’ll be in ‘maintenance mode.’”
“Isn’t ‘maintenance mode’ what you were doing before you were in ‘sloppy mode’?”
“Yeah, sure.”
“But you put on weight.”
“No, that was when I changed to ‘sloppy mode’.”
“With all due respect, I don’t think there’s ‘sloppy’ mode and ‘maintenance’ mode. There’s only ‘life mode.’ Your weight changed because your life changed. That ‘maintenance’ lifestyle is gone — for whatever reason. Maybe your metabolism changed, or your got older, or — who knows — but, no matter how you cut it, the way you live today has added a spare tire to you middle.”
“So, where are you going with this?”
“You’ve tried on a new lifestyle; you’re calling it ‘dieting.’ It’s not yet delivering the results you want so you’re thinking about throwing in the towel. That puts you back to that same old former lifestyle, the one that put the weight on you. It’s going to do it again.”
“No, this time it’ll be different. I’ll maintain.”
“I don’t mean to be rude, but unless you’re already slim, you really only know how to gain weight or lose it. As proof, if you really knew how to maintain, you would have maintained it a lower weight, right? Why would you have let it get to where it is now?”
“Makes sense, but, I’m tired of obsessing.”
“So don’t. You’re learning something new. It takes time. Enjoy the feeling of being more active. Appreciate the new foods you’re trying. Congratulate yourself for trying. The number will take care of itself when it’s ready.”
“But it’s so damn slow! I want it now!”
“Don’t we all? We don’t get to determine the speed; we just get to decide which direction: forwards or backwards. That’s really the only choice — and whether to enjoy the ride.”
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