99 Years Old and Looking Back

July 16, 2014 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

I have to swallow hard when I refer to the song, “100 Years” by Vladimir John Ondrasik III, known by his stage name, “Five for Fighting,” as an “oldie.”

I mean, after all, a song released in 2003 should not fall in that category; it’s a description meant for The Everly Brothers or The Beach Boys. Nonetheless, if the Earth Shoe fits…

Sorry, I got distracted… back to the issue at hand…

“100 Years” is an amazingly powerful song.

If you don’t have it cued up on your iTunes playlist right now, let me sum it up. Each of us gets 100 years to live, and during that period we go through various stages. The poignant lingering lyrics guide us through those times, beginning at 15 (“There’s still time for you…”) and progressing all the way to 99 (“Time for just another moment…”). So poignant are the words that there’s a webpage to discuss the interpretation. (I don’t make any commission on its purchase nor am I affiliated with Mr. Ondrasik, but it’s worth your time to check out the song.)

My interpretation is that each of us given the gift of one century, which passes in the “blink of an eye.”

So, imagine you live exactly, to the day, 100 years. (In my case, that would mean I exit on September 28, 2054.) Take it to your last day and then back it off to one day before you’re gone; see yourself at 99 years, 364 days old. By sunset tomorrow, you will be no more; you have gathered all the knowledge and wisdom possible in this lifetime. You are completed.

Now suppose that 99-year-old-You could send a message back to the Current-You, right here, right now, reading these words.

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The Miracle TV Diet

July 9, 2014 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

I attempt to source all facts I reference.

First, it’s the ethical thing to do. Secondly, most of these fascinating freaky factoids are found via the World Wide Web and much data floating in cyberspace is, well quite frankly, ka-ka. So, in attempting to validate a statistic I heard, I discovered a few fascinating facts about these bodies in which we live.

Since I’m turning 60 soon, I found it fascinating that according to HowStuffWorks.com, by that age, 60 percent of men and 40 percent of women snore; with the average snort volume hovering around 60 decibels, about the same loudness as standard speech. Not to be outdone, some punch out more than 80 decibels while slumbering, about as loud as a pneumatic drill breaking concrete. Related fact: According to the Hearing Loss Association of America, one-third of all Americans has hearing loss by age 65, which now makes complete sense since we’re sleeping next to pneumatic drills eight hours a night.

According to a report from Brazil, human hair grows a little less than 2/100 of an inch per day.

[Read more…]

Approaching Life Walking Backwards

July 8, 2014 by Featured Author

by Julie Weir

My father, “Pops” as he is known to my children, has recently completed a transformation of sorts that has some people a bit unnerved.

It may appear to be a classic reinvention due to his newly acquired retirement lifestyle (a nice way of saying mid-life crisis)…those who know him better will say they saw this coming a long ways off and it was only a matter of time before he stumbled upon his tinkering, elf-like persona (complete with pony tail and soul patch).

After 30 years working in informatics with the Federal Government, Correctional Services (loosely translated to running the computer systems for Canada’s prison systems) my father is happily pursuing his other interests...the part that is amazing is we didn’t know he was interested and I don’t even know if HE knew. If he had taken up fish farming people would not have blinked (he had actually graduated with a degree in Marine Biology – how he got from there to informatics and corrections is actually a funny story, too). They would have probably giggled, but not been surprised, if he had put on a yellow rain slicker and headed far out to sea (he did actually purchase a 30 foot sail boat however, and does own a full yellow rain suit and a Tilley hat, so this may be an adventure yet unlived).

Dulcimers made by Pops at RiverWorx Studios

But my father, in true Lazenby-fashion (which you will doubtless begin recognizing in my writing), took the “path less traveled” and has turned his garage into a woodworking studio. Actually, I take that back. Lazenby’s do not take the path less traveled, they jump off the path and walk backwards to create a new path, without ever turning to look where they are going! That way the path is ever-winding, may end up crossing back over itself at some points, and may hit a few large bumps along the way. They drag their heels, so that they will always be able to see where they have been, and so others can follow. It can’t really be considered meandering, because they walk with purpose and conviction, nor do they stroll because at some points Lazenbys will stop and linger, and other times the momentum of the landscape (the hills and valleys if you will, and cliffs for that matter) will have them caterwauling through life. [Read more…]

Turning Sixty

June 25, 2014 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

This September 28, I will turn 60 years old.

Can I be frank about that? (Of course I can, it’s my column.) Sixty is freaking me out. Don’t get worried; I’m talking simmer, not boil; but the heat is on and I feel it.

Part of the reason that my reaction has taken me by surprise is that I faced 40 pretty well. I felt respected. I had just shed 70 pounds and had recently met my now-wife. Things were flowing along quite swimmingly way back then, thank you very much. When 50 came knocking, it set me back on my heels for, oh, about five minutes, but I rebounded well and quickly moved on.

Sixty however? Whoa-doggie! That’s a notion I’m having trouble wrapping my mind around. (Thank God I don’t have to wrap my body around it ‘coz it just ain’t that flexible anymore.)

I mean, six decades on planet Earth just seems, so, well – how do I phrase this diplomatically? Okay, forget subtlety, I’ll just lay it out there: Sixty seems “old.”

I apologize and no disrespect is intended if 60 is in your rear view mirror, and you’re now scornfully shaking your head (most likely hearing those cracking sounds in your neck) muttering, “Really Scott, sixty? Get over it!”

You’re right; sixty happens.

However, in my defense, it’s the oldest I’ve ever been and I am attempting to come to grips with it in a mature fashion; but it doesn’t help that Miriam-Webster’s medical dictionary defines “middle aged” as “the period of life from about 40 to about 60 years of age.” Yikes! I mean, what about all that “60 is the new 40” stuff? Moreover, by the very nature of the fact that I consider 40 to be “young;” doesn’t that validate my whole I-feel-old argument in the first place?

[Read more…]

Talk to Other Ages

May 12, 2014 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Talk to people who are older than you.

Their views will be different but they have wisdom you can use. Besides, someday you will be in those shoes.

[Read more…]

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99 Years Old and Looking Back

I have to swallow hard when I refer to the song, “100 Years” by Vladimir John Ondrasik III, known by his stage name, “Five for Fighting,” as an “oldie.”

“100 Years” is an amazingly powerful song.

My interpretation is that each of us given the gift of one century, which passes in the “blink of an eye.”

Now suppose that 99-year-old-You could send a message back to the Current-You, right here, right now, reading these words.

The Miracle TV Diet

I attempt to source all facts I reference.

According to a report from Brazil, human hair grows a little less than 2/100 of an inch per day.

Approaching Life Walking Backwards

My father, “Pops” as he is known to my children, has recently completed a transformation of sorts that has some people a bit unnerved.

Turning Sixty

This September 28, I will turn 60 years old.

You’re right; sixty happens.

Talk to Other Ages

Talk to people who are older than you.

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