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My Favorite Toy

September 23, 2015 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

My parents told me they gave him to me as a Christmas present in 1955, in Detroit, Michigan in a two-story flat on Dexter Avenue.

Puppy

I’ve seen the grainy 8MM movies, but of course, I don’t remember. After all, I was barely a year old, hardly old enough to know what was a “best friend,” let alone that he would be it.

At night, I’d hold him until I fell asleep; his very presence banishing monsters that lived under the bed and the shadow creatures in the closet. When wind against the windows caused the curtains to pulsate and the panes to howl a ghostly, eerie, wail, my little yellow buddy with the dark black eyes and furry body watched over me until the sandman cast his magic upon me. He shared my pillow, his yellow, foam, and fur body with plastic face peering over the blankets to protect me, long after I dozed.

I would drag him from Kevin’s to Joey’s to Victor’s during long vacations and hot muggy afternoons. He’d sit, floppy-necked, across from me on the kitchen table as I’d sip lemonade and draw with crayons. While I did homework, he rested, never complaining, near my pencil jar. And when no one was to be found and there was nothing to do but let my imagination take over, I covered him in aluminum foil, wrapped saran wrap around his head, suspended him from the ceiling light, and pretended he was an astronaut.

“Commander Puppy,” I said into my paper-cup microphone (adding the right amount of voice crackle to increase the realism), “This is Captain Scott. Over. Do you hear me? Over. Come in Commander. Over and out.”

Together, we spent hours; daylight until dark. January through December. Childhood through adolescence.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Baby Boomers, family, Happiness, Newspaper Column, Personal, Tribute Tagged With: aging, early childhood, inner child, memories

Reinventing Myself: Realizing What Really Matters

April 14, 2015 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

This week marks exactly one year since our dog, Jack, abruptly left us.

jack-&-I

Appearing fine with the rising of the sun, by nightfall he was no more. That’s a grim progression to experience any time, but to complicate this horribly unpleasant and unexpected bump in our highway of life, Jack’s passing occurred the exact morning I was slated to leave town for three months of contracted work. My wife and I, heartbroken, left the veterinarian and, upon arriving home, tearfully hugged each other as I slid into my rental car, and left her forlorn and isolated in our grievously hollow home.

Intertwined throughout the choking weight of sadness I carried was woven a heavy rope of guilt. But what are you going to do? It was three months worth of employment, planned well in advance. If your occupation takes you away — even when it’s more than inconvenient — you’re bound to go.

Life goes on — so to speak.

When my travel concluded, my wife requested,

“I know you love what you do – and I want you to be happy. But, I really need you not to travel so often. Would you please try and earn more of your income here?”

I agreed, not only because of her request, but also because I had been growing weary of the travel hassles. Her vocalizing my thoughts cemented the decision. So, for the last several months, I have been “reinventing myself at 60,” not something I intended – nor something I recommend, but as they say, “Life is what happens while we’re making other plans.” Mostly, short of scurrying hither and yon sussing out new modes of income, I’m doing okay. To that end, I do more coaching, both in person and on-line. I’m producing my own local seminars. I’ve snagged more hours assisting clients with marketing and consulting. And, I’m pleased as heck that even after 20 years together, I really do still enjoy spending so many hours with my lovely bride (and how cool is it that she says she enjoys having me around).

Today however brought forth an unexpected revelation: The most difficult component of my reinvention is that I no longer know who I am.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: family, Inspiration, Newspaper Column, Personal, Relationships, Self Talk Tagged With: better relationships, close relationships, death of a pet, facing death, pets, relationship, what matters, what really matters

Skipping Across the Rainbow Bridge

April 15, 2014 by Scott "Q" Marcus

“Jack” was the name chosen by someone long before us.

jack-&-I

However, when we rescued him from the shelter, we figured, “Why not? We might as well keep the name.” His moniker morphed strangely to “Jackpot,” slid into “Pot-Pot,” and eventually just — embarrassingly enough — “Pot.” I usually called him “Big Puppy.”

Being older, Jack had “issues.”

Boy howdy, did he have issues! We didn’t seek out a dog that needed 24-hour attention, but we got one. Within a week of his “gotcha” day, we discovered he had hypersensitive skin, causing him to chew and scratch at his sides so much, he would bleed. To prevent self-mutilation, we stumbled upon the idea of adorning him in toddler-sized T-shirts. Since Mini-human clothing is not designed for Mini Schnauzers, we had to put the shirts on backwards – with the design facing up instead of down. Securing them so he didn’t trip, while still providing freedom to “do his business,” he was the most “stylin’” dog in town. Eventually, he acquired a complete wardrobe of emblazoned with super hero motifs, holiday fashions, and our favorite, inscribed, “Mommy’s Little Monster” in stark white letters. Beyond soothing his skin, we’re sure he liked them because after every walk (when we had to remove his shirt to attach his leash), he’d wait for us to re-dress him.

A never-ending source of noises was our Big Puppy.

He didn’t bark much (unless he saw another dog) but he grunted, groaned, licked, chewed, yawned, and exhaled loudly without end. He also broke wind – constantly, always a source of confusion to him, causing him to spin mid-step, seeking the source of the rear-end disruption.

What most people remember was that he “skipped.”

Because his hind legs were too close together and he had scoliosis (did I say he had “issues?”) his rear feet bumped each other when he walked, causing him to hop, giving the appearance he was skipping down the street. It didn’t slow him down, but did provide the funniest impression of a Fred-Astaire-Singing-in-the-Rain upbeat gait as he strolled down the avenue. Ironically, it was spot-on; he actually was happiest in those moments.

Sunday was our last walk.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: family, Newspaper Column, Personal, Relationships, Tribute Tagged With: adopting a dog, death of a pet, grief, mini schnauzer, rainbow bridge, sadness, why

Don’t you dare bring me donuts!

December 11, 2013 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

My mother, Ruth, who battled obesity for her first 69 years, re-arranged her habits to shed 80 pounds over the next three years.

With the exception of those who knew her previously, she refused to speak of this noteworthy accomplishment. One doesn’t forgo favorite foods, increase (or begin) exercise, deal with tamped down feelings, and in general, upend one’s entire lifestyle unless the result is deeply desired. It’s a lot of effort to revamp mind and body; therefore most folks find it worthy of recognition. As I said, “most” — not all. “Why don’t you let people know about your weight loss?” I wondered. Her answer: “I should have never let myself get so out of control that I weighed that much in the first place.” My mother was incredibly understanding of almost anyone’s shortcomings — except her own. “None of us are perfect,” I replied, “The thing is you tackled it. Many people your age would have just given up. You didn’t.”

“I did what had to be done, which I should have done a long time before.” Once my mom made up her mind, there was no arguing.

Three years to lose 80 pounds, even when accomplished in a healthy fashion, is still slower than the norm.

In part, that pace was the result of the parameters upon which she insisted. Although she took a practical approach — smaller portions, daily walks, group support — her speed was retarded because she refused to sacrifice desserts. In mom’s world, one always saved room for dessert. (Hmmmm, might this be a window in why I had my own weight problems?) “I don’t mind losing a tenth of a pound a week,” she affirmed, “as long as I can have dessert.” Knowing how strong however was the temptation to go overboard with goodies, she banished from her home the most problematic caloric treats, and compensated by buying sugar free or low calorie. However, she continued to have dessert after every meal. Enter Joe; a white-haired, mustachioed, elegant, dapper widower — who might have been lifted from a Fred Astaire movie. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Baby Boomers, family, Health, Newspaper Column, Personal Tagged With: dessert, desserts, favorite foods, goodies, mom, weight loss

Fry Me a River: Trying to Diet in New Orleans

October 5, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

She had a slightly Cajun accent, “What’ll it be honey?”

Adorned in a blue apron, order pad in hand, poised to take my order, she was patient; but the restaurant was hopping, so I dare not send her away. Everyone knows the prime rule when it comes to waiters: Tell them you need another minute to make up your mind and they disappear for an hour. I had to decide immediately or starve.

The problem was, when one’s traveling in the deep south, as we were, everything — and I do mean EVERYTHING — is fried. Just reading the menu was causing a weight gain.

I stalled, “Take their orders first. I’ll be ready when you get back to me.”

She turned to Rich. “What’ll it be honey?” she repeated.

Rich, familiar with southern food, knew instantly what he wanted. “We’ll start with an appetizer of fried alligator.”

My head snapped, “Fried alligator? Really?” I’m not a fan of alligators, but my raised-in-California-with-lots-of-salads mentality had trouble imagining me devouring something that, not too long ago, would have reversed roles.

Ignoring me, he continued, “Then, a side of fried sardines, oh — and a few fried collard green wontons.” He turned to the two of us, “Sound OK?”

Margie, nodding, chimed in, “What about some hush-puppies?”

“What are hush puppies?” I asked. It was difficult enough imagining fried alligator. To me, hush puppies were soft, comfortable shoes. Although I was confident we wouldn’t be eating suede; after learning of fried sardines and alligator, I had a wee doubt.

“They’re great,” she said. “They’re sweet, doughy, bread balls. You’ll love them.”

“How are they prepared?”

“Fried.”

I could feel cholesterol plugging my arteries even as I sat.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Diet, mental health, Personal, Power of Attitude Tagged With: alligator, alligators, appetizer, apron, cajun accent, deep fried ravioli, deep south, fried alligator, humor, hush puppies, lasagna, southern food, waiters, waitress, weight gain, wontons

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