Avoiding Negative Drivers

Just to clarify, by “negative drivers,” I don’t mean people with road rage or people who tailgate.

“Drivers” are best thought of as models for inner patterns that influence our thinking, feeling and therefore the behavior we will do. Since they begin when we’re small children, one can say they are the voices of external authorities such as our parents. When we’re very young, we need our parents to direct us. However, as we age, we must take a look at what “drives” our behaviors and decide whether they’re still helping us or harming us. (For a great overview of drivers, follow this link.)

The five main drivers are:

• Be perfect
• Try hard
• Hurry up
• Be strong
• Please others

Although one might argue that their intention is positive and designed to help us lead a better life, the result many times is that we fall short of expectation, always feeling inadequate and not good enough.

How do we change them?

As always, one doesn’t do well by “dropping” habits or messages. Instead, you need to replace them with healthier messages.

Replace the above with:

• Be who you are
• Do what you do
• Take your time
• Feel what you feel
• Do what you decide

Once we can recognize our drivers and replace them with more uplifting, positive messages, we will be happier, healthier, and more successful.

Which driver do you most need to replace?