Be forewarned; the following appears to be two divergent thoughts with seemingly nothing in common with the title of this column. However, plug on; all shall coalesce by the conclusion.

Thought one: The Internet is like an office — on a really, really, really huge scale; it is filled with marvelous facts that can be extremely important (or completely useless). The predicament is finding them – and determining into which category they fit.

Thought two: Writers, such as myself, are periodically (but thankfully not often) faced with the curse of “writer’s block,” a dreaded affliction which attacks creative sorts. Its symptoms include, but are not limited to: stress, inability to focus, lack of inspired thought, and a blank stare (usually at an empty page). As deadline approaches — a rising sense of panic also wells up within one’s chest. Writer’s block also has a major side effect: the desire to consume uncontrollable amounts of sugary, snack-like substances.

Since such eating leads to guilt (and a protruding stomach), I have developed alternative, less-caloric methods to set free my Muse: an out of the ordinary technique involving internet search engines. (See, the topic is beginning to gel; aren’t you glad you stuck with me?) Instead of searching for subject matters, rather I pose questions.

For instance, it seemed apropos that this week, my message would involve a nod toward Valentine’s Day. Yet, my brain was a brick, solid, heavy, unmoving; nothing entered. So, I asked of the all-wise Google, “What healthy meal could I prepare on Valentine’s Day?” Forever obligingly (as I’m sure would be Yahoo), it provided me with 394,000 options in 0.13 seconds. Assuming three meals a day, and no duplication of recipes, it would take 359.81 years to try every meal listed. As much as I would love to be celebrating with my sweetheart in the year 2367, I find it unlikely; therefore I chose the first selection: Heart Healthy Dinner for Romance.

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