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Looking for the road to happiness can seem like a non-stop trek through the jungle.
As I learned on my journey through life, seeking happiness can take time and the short time before problems or unexpected events occur can seem as fleeting as a wave on the beach. The emotion that is often associated with happiness can wash up and then slide away into negative judgments, harsh beliefs and a jaded point of view.
Facing the Past
Learning to avoid judgment was a problem I faced from the time I was very young. Although I did have moments of contentment during my teen years, my early childhood was a time of constant stress, fear and worry. As a result of a traumatic childhood, I am still unable to recall anything that happened before my teen years.
Although the memories were lost, I often felt anxious when I was talking to adults and I was very aware of differences between people. I found myself judging people based on the most insignificant details, often wondering if that time spent laughing with my friend meant that I would lose that connection. I worried constantly and I was always nervous around those I didn’t know.
As I grew older and realized that I couldn’t remember much, I began withdrawing into myself and judging people more freely. I assumed that others had negative intentions and treated them with a frigid courtesy that barely passed for polite.
It was only after I met a friend at work who was openly friendly and constantly smiling that I learned what I was missing. That feeling of happiness I longed for was within reach and I ultimately asked her for advice on how I could obtain the same cheer and joy.
Her advice helped me reach real happiness, though it took me time to learn how to stop judging others.
Let Go of the Past and Future
Learning to love everyone and give a whole heart is challenging when holding onto a future goal or a past hurt. In my experience, holding onto past prejudice and the hurts caused by others is a fruitless endeavor that ultimately leads to a path of sorrow and anger. The best advice I was given to reach for happiness is to forgive the past and move into the present.
It’s the same for those living for a future goal. While it’s important to set goals, it’s also important to focus on the current situation. The future isn’t here yet, so it’s not possible to enjoy that moment. It’s called the present because it’s a gift, so it’s time to focus on that gift and live in the now.
Release Judgmental Thoughts
Letting go of judgmental thoughts is a hard lesson to learn, but it’s ultimately a key part of happiness. I learned to stop judging others when I began volunteering at the Chickasaw Nation Boys and Girls Club Teamwork Camp. It was there that I learned how similar every individual actually is because we are all imperfect creatures. The Chickasaw teamwork and spirit of togetherness inspired me to move past my own insecurities enough to love everyone around me. Trying to apply the spiritual lessons might seem hard, but it is ultimately about learning to love even the mistakes.
Everyone makes mistakes and judging others for their missteps, accidents or misunderstandings will only make the situation worse. Take a deep breath and let go of the negative thoughts that come from the actions of others. Forgive them for their mistakes and happiness will ultimately follow.
Life is too short to keep judging others.
By letting go of the judgment, focusing on the present and offering forgiveness for hurts, it’s possible to live a happy life.
From “Have to” to “Get to”
“There are only two ways to go through life. One is believe nothing is a miracle. The other, is to see that everything is.” – Albert Einstein
Are you ready to be done getting sick, injured or having so much drama and victimization in your life?
Speaking as someone who had had a very difficult life that seemed rife with mishaps and crises one right after another for decades, until I figured a few things out and shifted what reality I am creating, allow me to share some recent insights and real, tangible practices that can help you break free and get into a life of more flow, health, wealth, love and happiness.
Three weeks ago, I sustained a pretty serious ankle injury involving sprain, extreme bruising and multiple torn ligaments. Here I was, essentially lying in bed for 10 days in a row, then hobbling along in a cast, not able to drive, take hikes or my daily walks, dance, going up and down the stairs on my tush with my foot stuck out… you get the idea.
Of course part of the emotional challenge with any injury or illness that limits our mobility or ability significantly, even if it temporary, is this sense of “Wow, my world has gotten really small.” And the fear of “How long is THIS going to last?” And the self-judgment “How and why did I manifest THIS?”
So, let’s take a look and go from whys to wise, turn the wounds into wisdom. I believe everything happens so we can learn from it, and when we get wise to our patterns and deep soul lessons, we can thereafter create something even better.
Out of trauma and emergency, we can “emerge and see.”
We can learn and grow, develop a deeper appreciation for the simple things in life, and emerge even more joyful and full of aliveness
I should probably give you a little context. [Read more…]