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You are here: Home / Archives for fad diet

The Cleanse

June 3, 2015 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Weight is a progressive disorder.

By that I mean, if you are overweight and you’re not doing something to lose weight, you’re going to gain it; there’s no middle ground. People who battle obesity consistently fool themselves into thinking they can “take a break” and “maintain for awhile.” They can’t. After all, if they could, why would they not have “maintained” ten or twenty pounds lower? That’s not meant to be snarky; it’s just truth.

Eventually the reality, “I’ve let it get out of control” sets in, closely tailed by panic. When that occurs, logic beats a hasty exit and all sorts of strange get-thin-quick behaviors show up on the front porch.

man-looking-at-empty-refrigeratorOne of which is “The Cleanse.”

To lay all my cards on the table, I’m not a fan. One reason is that so many “cleanses” are bizarre at best, even downright unhealthy — not to mention unsustainable.

To that point, I relay a recent conversation with a friend. “I’m on day four of a seven-day cleanse,” he said. “I need advice. I’m starving. I can’t think. I’m ready to bite someone’s head off and all I can think of is eating. What do I do?”

Curious, I asked, “Why are you doing this? Why not a more balanced approach like cutting back a little here and there and adding in some exercise? That would work much better — without the side effects.”

“My girlfriend and I wanted to kick start the weight loss. We found this on line.”

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Diet, humor, Newspaper Column, Rant, Weight Loss Tagged With: colon cleanse, diet fads, fad diet, fad diets, starvation diet

Top Diets for the Year

December 19, 2012 by Scott "Q" Marcus

It’s the most wonderful time of the year; ‘tis is the time for end-of-year lists.

Soon we shall (whether we want to or not) know the Top Songs/Movies/Books/News Stories of the Year. TV hosts will interview the “Most Influential Celebrities.” In the past, publications have gone so far as to post a compilation of lists ranging from “Top Happiest Endings of the Decade” to “Worst Predictions” (which includes “A particle accelerator will end the world”). Therefore, in honor of the list spirit, I shall now bound confidently on to the bandwagon and provide — in no particular order — a compilation of some the most bizarre diets upon which I have the misfortune to stumble. (Yes, they are all real.)

Let us commence with the COOKIE DIET.

One eats one meal per day that must consist of six ounces of protein, as well as at least six of a unique type of cookie each day, for a grand total of 800 calories; about one-third the required intake to maintain a healthful body. Lose your weight and get rid of that pesky hale and hearty glow – all at once! But, mmm-mmm-mmm, sure tastes great! This proves that eating cookies to lose weight makes about as much sense as getting stabbed in the eye to forget about your earache.

After a long week, I plead guilty that a part of me welcomes the SLEEPING BEAUTY DIET.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Diet, Health, humor, Motivational Products Tagged With: diet fads, diets, fad diet, fad diets, making lists

The Great New Miracle Diet Featuring CleanYouOut!

May 2, 2012 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

“I lost 18 pounds my first 24 hours while still enjoying chocolate cake, French fries, and beer!

The best thing is it’s been a whole day and I haven’t gained back a pound!”

Hard to believe, isn’t it?

Like millions of women, Zelda Smith, always fought the battle of the bulge.

“Since I was young, I was chubby. Other kids made fun of me, teasing me and embarrassing me on the playground. As an adult, it only got worse.”

“It didn’t matter what I did, weight just kept piling on. I tried everything, switching to low-fat foods, watching what I ate; I even stopped using chocolate syrup as salad dressing. At meals, I tried limiting myself to only what could fit on one plate, never going back for seconds. My sister — who’s never been supportive — scoffed. She said, ‘Zelda, if you’re going to do the one-plate thing, I don’t think you should use a platter. It defeats the purpose.’ Do you see what I’ve had to put up with?”

“But I didn’t let her deter me; I was determined! So I adjusted my lifestyle. I went to the gym; I even got out of my car and went inside once. At home I exercised regularly — ten minutes once a month, just like clockwork. I found other ways to increase my activity. I started walking to the mailbox instead of driving; my husband really appreciated that because he found it hard to get in the front door when I left the car parked on the porch. Sometimes, when I was really inspired, I even put down the remote control and walked all the way over to the TV to shut it off. It’s not easy to change your life, but when something’s worth it, you sacrifice.”

“Still, I was frustrated by the lack of results.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Diet, humor, Newspaper Column Tagged With: battle of the bulge, diet, fad diet, humor, low fat foods, satire, weight loss support, weight loss support groups

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