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You are here: Home / Archives for certain age

No Longer in my Twenties

November 5, 2015 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Recently, I had a revelation: I am no longer in my twenties.

grumpy-old-man-with-cane

There were obvious signs prior to this new dawning.

For example, of late, in order to read small print, I must either remove my glasses or post the document across the room. Conversely, I must also use the “zoom” feature on my computer monitor to increase font size for virtually everything on screen.

I also must admit a tinge of guilt in continuing to list “brown” as my hair color on driver’s license applications. Rather, “gray with a small bit of brown remaining” is more appropriate. (Since there is not enough space to use this accurate description, I rationalize “brown” as being as honest as possible.)

Oh yes, one other indicator that I am no longer in my twenties is that I am the biological father of a 31-year-old. Even the most forward thinking and mature twenty-something would be hard pressed to have 31-year-old offspring.

Alas, despite this ever-growing chorus of facts, the dawning of my age did not fully appear until I weighed myself last week.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Baby Boomers, Change, humor, Newspaper Column Tagged With: aging, aging process, certain age, middle age, succesful weight loss

“Um, what were we talking about?”

April 13, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Pop quiz! What did they call “multitasking” in the eighties?

Answer: “lack of focus.”

I don’t mean to sound like an old fuddy-duddy (of course, using the term “fuddy-duddy” does tend to portray me as such), but like it or not, I am officially of a “certain age.” More times than I care to admit, I have strutted with strong intention into the kitchen, and upon arrival, completely blanked as to why I was there. Or, finding myself looking for an item in the closet, I will be briefly distracted, and forget what I was looking for. I have, embarrassingly enough, “lost” my keys on the way to the door on more than one occasion.

My wife and I have entire conversations without ever using proper nouns.

“Hi Honey, I saw that guy today.”

“Which guy?”

“You know, the man who did the thing around the house last summer.”

“Oh, with the stuff and that equipment?”

“No, the other one. He worked on the what-do-you-call-it with those tools. You know, over by that place…”

“Oh, him! With all that oily gear?”

“Yeah, him.”

“Why didn’t you just say so?”

We’re not trying to be secretive; it’s simply that the words don’t form as quickly as we need so, undeterred, we press on in the language of “pro-noun-cia.” (What’s bizarre is we actually understand each other.) [Read more…]

Filed Under: Baby Boomers, Change, Current Events, humor, mental health, Newspaper Column Tagged With: adam gazzaley, certain age, conversations, distractions, forgetfullness, inspiration, multi-tasking, multitasking, proper nouns, russell a poldrack, strong intention, study

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