At best, it’s a melancholy affair; at worst, it’s a heartbreaking loss from which you’re sure you can never recover.
Consolation can feel impossible after the loss of someone dear to you. While you know, deep down, that death is an integral part of life, a piece of you goes wherever your loved ones do, and when they pass, the piece goes with them.
Without death, room for new growth would never be made. Progress forward can’t happen without losses from the past. From every farewell, there comes a new hello.
These are among the multitude of wise lessons to be learned from a person in the last leg of their life—either directly from their words, or merely through their experiences. Knowing how to approach the situation as a learning experience will help you move through the process and maintain your own life.
Hindsight, and why it’s wrong
Any of us who’ve been at the bedside of someone we care dearly for while they move from this world to the next knows a few things:
- The dying have regrets that make us question our own
- Vicinity to sickness creates hyper-awareness of our own health
- You always wish it were you on that bed, and not them
It’s difficult not to think inwardly and observe your life through retrospective goggles. However, a healthy life is one you live for yourself, with every moment being the most important moment in your life. It’s not selfish; it’s natural.
Healthy lifestyle programs such as one found in the Diet Solution review why you need to be your first priority. Loving yourself first will make you love others more deeply, and live your life more fully. Be good to yourself. Eat well, exercise, spend time enjoying others, and spend time enjoying yourself.
And all of this can be learned from someone you’re about to lose.
Today is just one more day
Your loved one may be at the end of their life, but you’re not. And they likely don’t want you to feel, or behave, as if you are.
That in mind, don’t wait until you’re saying goodbye to someone to live each day to its maximum capacity. Every hello should be backed by a sincere sense of greeting; every goodbye should be heartfelt and wrapped in a hug; and every opportunity should be acted upon, to hedge against regret.
Spend time with your loved ones in their last days, but make it count. Don’t lament, and don’t play, “Remember when…” or “What if…”
Simply spend time, and enjoy it.
Pain has to find an end
If you find yourself wishing for one more day, or trying to mentally abolish the sickness from your loved one’s life, stop. The pain they’re feeling as they bid this world farewell is inevitable—every one of us has to transition from life to death, and the path is more often than not a long and uncomfortable one.
Wishing your loved one’s health a miraculous recovery is actually unhealthier than you know. It doesn’t prepare you for the inevitable goodbye, and it doesn’t allow you to give your ailing family member or friend the undivided attention they deserve.
You can’t control health, not even your own. The best you can do is manage it to its utmost, and the rest is in nature’s hands. It’s a difficult thing to accept, but the sooner you’re able to acknowledge this, the sooner you’ll find yourself at peace with loss.
Would you rather be mourned, or loved?
Finally, as you hold the weakening hand of someone you love, consider how you’d feel if the role were reversed.
Would you rather your friends and family hold vigil, silent in their sadness; or laugh, eat, love and appreciate each other and you?
I know the answer, and so do you. For the sake of your loved one, whose facing their last days, push the fog of sadness out of your sight. There is a time for tears, and that’s the time after your loved one has passed.
We often hear people suggesting we live every moment as if it were our last. That’s not accurate. We should, instead, live every moment as if it were our only… because it is.
What’s happened is over, and what’s to come is unsure, and this is perhaps the most important bit of wisdom you can accumulate from an ailing loved one.
About The Author: Dr. Mike Tremba has been blessed with a full life of continued self-discovery. His Truth About Abs review has helped many people lose weight and enjoy their lives to a fuller degree. In his free time, Dr. Mike reads, spends time relaxing with his beautiful wife Shari, and continually looks for more ways to help others that he serves.