As we gear up for All Hallows’ Eve (also known as Halloween), I present a cautionary tale about dieting and candy
After trick-or-treating, I’d take the stuffed sack of sweetened snacks and methodically commence the annual sorting ritual.
First: remove the boring, plain, unimaginative lollipops on white paper sticks. If someone with my heft found them unflavorful, I didn’t see how confectionery companies even stayed in business producing them. Vineyards have wine tasting. Don’t makers of munchies invest in something similar?
Chocolate bars were meticulously analyzed, classified, and culled from their chewy caramel brethren. Mini bags of jellybeans and foil-wrapped drops were each placed in distinct heaps. When all was it should be, ’twas time to sit back and savor the fruits of my efforts until my teeth ached from sugar, and my belly from bulk.