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You are here: Home / Diet / Something Light for Breakfast

Something Light for Breakfast

October 30, 2013 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

When on vacation, I dress quicker than my wife, having less hair, and therefore less of a need to blow-dry it.

With the extra time, I find myself waiting for her at the hotel restaurant.

“What will it be this morning?” asks the waitress.

Studying the menu, I am engaged in a fierce internal debate between “responsible” (fresh fruit), and “desirable” (hash browns, bacon, omelet, croissant). Adult overrules inner child and I order “something light,” oatmeal.

Bowl of Porridge

Momentarily a bathtub-size basin arrives. Submerged in thick, rich, cream, smothered with a brown syrupy liquid of melted maple sugar, is my hot cereal. Realizing it’s too late to ask for non-fat milk and sugar on the side, I reassure myself the faux pas won’t harm my diet. Everyone knows unintended calories don’t count; fat cells realize the error and disregard the weight gain.

The waitress places a platter of sugary condiments on the table before leaving. At first, I am inclined to resist them, but re-evaluate. Maybe this is a local tradition; it would be rude to offend our hosts. Besides, I’m on vacation; it’s almost an edict that one sample new foods while traveling.

Rationale safely locked in place; to others I must appear to be an alchemist developing a brew in a caldron.

I put in butter, honey, cream, yogurt (three flavors), strawberry jam, grape jelly, raw sugar, and cashews. I would mix in yet more but I’m concerned the table will buckle under the weight of my “light snack.” The embarrassment could put a damper on my day.

Sipping down the concoction, I refill the bowl with sugary additives each time it drops below the rim. After a few iterations, I’m unsure any original oatmeal remains but I continue to add more flavorings as the rainbow swirl of reds, yellows, purples, and browns has me on a full-tilt sugar buzz and rational thinking is no longer an option.

My wife arrives, sliding into the booth as I clean the remains of the bowl. The inclination to use my finger like a spatula and scrape the edges is overruled in favor of a more mature demeanor.

She looks at the plate, “You ate already? I thought we were going to have breakfast together?”

“It was nothing, just a small bowl of oatmeal to hold me over.”

About the author: Scott “Q” Marcus is the CRP (Chief Recovering Perfectionist) of www.ThisTimeIMeanIt.com and founder of www.21DayHabitChange.com, guaranteed to help you change a habit in just 3 weeks. He is a motivational productivity expert and motivational weight loss speaker. He is available for coaching and speaking at 707.442.6243, scottq@scottqmarcus.com or facebook.com/ThisTimeIMeanIt.

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Filed Under: Diet, humor, Newspaper Column Tagged With: breakfast, diet, hotels, humor, oatmeal, travel

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