The holidays are coming! The holidays are coming!

Love the holiday season or hate it; whether you have a big family or a smal one; whether you're traveling or staying home; this time of the year is the most difficult time to stay focused and on track. That's why so many people give up on their goals and say, "I'll start again in January." It just seems like it's too dificult to keep moving forward. This year, you can make it different. You can actually enter January feeling like you're on track and moving forward.

Make fourth quarter 2014 your best ever by attending this exciting end-of-year event!

Based on "The Big 5 of Habit Change," by Scott "Q" Marcus, this is the fourth - and possibly most important so far - in a series of uplifting, educational, playful seminars to help you get past what holds you back. In a safe, playful, creative environment with other like-minded folks, you will develop simple tools to help identify the barriers you face and then develop easy steps to allow them to overcome those obstacles so that when fall and the following holidays come barreling through, you'll be happier, healthier, and more successful.

Even if you don't celebrate the holidays, this program is essential for your own mental health.

What will we do at the session?

We will line out which days (and weeks) will be most problematic
Using the support of the group, we will come up with solutions to your most vexing problems
We'll use a four-question technique to make sure your objectives can actually get done
We'll set out a stategy to do it
You'll work out a agreement with yourself and with someone else to support you
You'll have fun and feel encouraged and motivated

You will also have the option to continue to be supported for the entire year.

To see a more complete agenda and all the FAQs, scroll down.

Why should you attend? Summed up: If you feel overwhelmed or overloaded - especially at this time of year - this seminar will send you on your way focused and enthused. You will have:

More self-confidence, leading to the ability to do what you normally would not do
Improved attitude, making you happier so you enjoy your life more. It will also help you have better relationships with the people you care about
Better understanding of yourself, causing you to not feel like a victim but to feel empowered. It will also give you the ability to block future problems earlier, before they grown to be unmanageable.
Better health so you can live a happier, longer, less-stressed life

Who would most benefit from this session? In a nutshell: if you have ever been frustrated with yourself, this is for you!

Baby boomers, especially women, who are concerned that poor habit choices are lowering their quality of life
Anyone wanting to lose weight or change other bad habits
People who are interested in or appreciate self-improvement seminars
"Graduates" of previous sessions

The Details:

Coffee/tea will be served
Dress is casual; the more casual the better
100% satisfaction no-hassle guarantee: If you attend and you don’t think it’s worth it, you get your money back. No questions. No arguments.

To see a more complete agenda and all the FAQs, scroll down.

To see all the FAQs, scroll down.

A Testimonial from a Past Client

(Who continues to attend)

Where will it take place?

Humboldt Bay Aquatic Center (next to the Adorni Center) 921 Waterford Drive Eureka, CA 95501

October 25, 2014 10AM-1PM

Event Registration Online for This Time I Mean It! Staying on Task & Focused During the Busiest Time of the Year powered by Eventbrite

FAQ:

Will this be a repeat of previous sessions?

No.

Although the theme, "5 Habits," remains in place and we'll do a recap and an overview in each session, each session is a stand-alone seminar.

You say it's "interactive." What happens if I don't want to get involved?

You don't have to. You can just sit and observe. The number rule of the session is that it's a "safe place to be." Be as involved as you feel like.

Can I register at the door?

It depends on how many people pre-register. The room has limited space. (Plus you save money if you register in advance.)

What happens if I'm not happy with what I got?

There is a 100% satisfaction no-hassle guarantee: If you attend and you don’t think it’s worth it, you get your money back. No questions. No arguments.

How do I dress?

Casual; anything but naked. (But, if you really want too...)

Will food be served?

No. However, there will be coffee, tea, and water.

Will there be breaks?

Yes, at least one.

What is the cancellation policy?

If you cancel 96 hours (4 days) or earlier, you will get a full refund, but it will take up to 14 days to credit you (although it might be quicker). If it's less than 96 hours or less, we'll give you full credit for future presentations or towards coaching. It will be valid for one year.

I'm still unsure. What else can I do?

Call Scott at 707.442.6243 or contact him via the on-line form.

Thank you for the money tree.

Editors note: This column is a follow up to a previous column, that is worth reading first.

I’ve thought regularly that if the low-life individuals relentlessly attempting to scam us out of our hard-earned income took a few moments and focused on how they might improve society, not only would the world be a better place, but they would perhaps be wealthier.

After all, an individual in a dark boiler room, chained to a desk, deceiving people on the phone can’t be a) very happy, nor b) very wealthy. What a miserable life!

Yet, that’s as much sympathy as I can muster for the scumbags who besiege us with a non-stop waterfall of scam phone calls intent on swindling us into purchasing credit card protection, extended auto insurance, or — now that I’m a certain age — Medicare options. It’s become so prevalent that I don’t answer my phone; assuming – that if the call is legit – the caller will leave voice mail and I will return the call at my leisure.

Anyway, I doubt my experience differs much from yours. I receive – no exaggeration – between ten and 15 rip-off calls every day. So, when the phone rang, I was loath to pick up. Yes, it showed a local number with a person’s name but I’ve been Charlie Brown to that football too many times. Yet, something inside me said, “Answer it.”

I’m glad I did.

“Hello. This is Scott,” I said as I activated the speakerphone, poised to shut it off immediately upon hearing a south-Asian accent telling me that my computer is infecting the internet. Rather, I heard an elderly woman’s voice crack through the speaker.

“I read your column in the paper,” she said, “I have a gift for you.”

I stumbled, “Um, well, thank you. That’s very nice. Who is this please?”

She admitted to being private and didn’t want to disclose her full name. As much as she deserves credit for what you’re about to read, I’ll honor that, and will simply refer to her as “Ruth.” (Which was the name of my mother, who would have been the same age as is she.)

Said “Ruth”, “I’m 95 and I I’m blind so I can’t drive. Could you come by my house so I can give it to you?”

Truth be known, although I’ve written this column for almost 15 years, never before had anyone invited me to their house in order to bestow presents upon me. I wasn’t sure how to handle it.

“What is it you want to give me?” I asked.

“I don’t want to tell you,” and then added, almost as afterthought. “I promise I won’t hurt you.”

I’ll own up to lots of irrational fears, but being bludgeoned by a sight-impaired house-bound nonagenarian who’s a fan of my writing isn’t even on the list. It put things in perspective. “Not a problem; where do you live?”Read More

It’s just too expensive!

One of my more pronounced therapy teachings is, “The child ego state is capable of an ever-escalating level of ‘needs.’”

Disconnecting the psycho-babble, that generally decodes into “kids always want more stuff.”

When I was young, after pestering relentlessly my dad for the latest whiz-bam thingamajig that “all the other kids have,” his reply oft times was, “Why don’t you go out back and pick a few dollars off the money tree and go buy one?”

“What money tree?”

“Yep, you figured it out. Smart boy.” In effect, a wise guy way of saying, “We don’t have any money. No.”

Sixty years later, I still worry about money at the drop of a hat.

Some schoolings don’t leave. I am still praying for a money tree.

In case you haven’t noticed, it’s expensive making it through the current day-to-day.

Between overseeing a household, raising kids (whether two or four-legged), entertainment, and home repairs (let alone trying to save for a rainy day), it’s getting so that take home pay can barely survive the trip.Read More

Looking Back – And Looking Ahead

The holidays were behind her; decorations stuffed in the attic until next year.

She liked gussying up the living room every December, but there was also a sense of relief once the house was restored to a less chaotic, more familiar décor.

Breathing in the return to normalcy while sitting on a weathered wood bench on the back deck, a cool breeze gently tussled her hair; causing her to pull tighter around her neck the red fleece sweatshirt; raising the zipper high to help block the chill. With both hands clamped around the mug of hot tea between her palms, she savored its radiance as it emanated from the ceramic, warming not only her hands but her soul. Try as she might, she had not been able to find a flavored tea that replaced the bold satisfaction of morning coffee, but tea didn’t impact her stomach unfavorably. “Ah, the sacrifices one makes to Geras,” she thought, amusingly surprised that she remembered the name of the Greek God of Aging.

She sighed and redirected her attentiveness to the untidy back plank fence bordered by weeds attempting to reclaim their space. “The back yard really needs attention,” she considered, but knew there were yet several more weeks of winter and nothing would get done until the gray cleared and the rain stopped.

“No need to concern myself with that now…” Her thoughts drifted and she trailed, letting them lead wherever they might stroll.

“Another new year,” she mused, holding tighter the mug, hoping to claim a bit more heat. She pondered what was in store for the coming months.

She didn’t make resolutions; they were merely repeating the unkept promises she of last year; as she tried to catch up with those from the year prior, which were actually tasks undone from the year before that. At some point, why bother? “Just do your best and keep moving forward,” was as close to a New Year’s resolution as she came.

Yet, the newness of another January was not lost on her. With the changing of the calendar, there came a freshness, a bloom of new possibility for the time ahead. A clean slate was laid out in front of her, what would she do with it?

It was getting harder to say she was still “middle aged;” after all, few folks make it to 120. Was this where she expected to be in her sixties? She contemplated that for a moment and realized she didn’t have an answer. Was it a myth that some kids knew exactly who whey wanted to be from their first day? That had never been who she was; instead following a more meandering road.

“Retirement, what a concept,” she thought.

Many of her close friends, after having spent decades in a nine-to-five, walled off behind a cubicle; were now starting to collect pensions. Some were traveling, or spending times with grandkids — or both. Others pursued long-hibernating passions they had put on hold since their twenties. A twinge of envy flittered across her emotional horizon; there would be no retirement party for her, her course would continue until she decided it was at its end. And even then, what would that look like? Would she simply wake up one morning and declare, “I’m now officially retired,” awarding herself a watch and a cake?

“Did I really choose this?” she asked herself, “Or did I just let it happen?”

Shaking her head to clear her thoughts, she recalled the choices that brought her to this place. What if she would have finished college instead of pursuing her craft? How about if she had married someone wealthy? Everything would have been different, she pondered, a pinch of melancholy seasoning her mood.

A song drifted across her thoughts, something about a woman who died and was sweating her interview with Saint Peter, who was going to look up in some colossal journal every decision — good or bad — that she ever did, and then decree where she will spend all eternity. “Will I have done enough to get into Heaven?” the singer wondered. Enter the chorus: “There’s nothing I can do about it now.” Might as well relax; it’s too late to change it.

“Yep, nothing I can do about it now,” she reminded herself and exhaled deeply the tension that she didn’t realize she was even carrying until that moment.

Whether planned or not, no one could argue that she was her own woman; traveling her own road; pursuing her own dreams; following her own uncharted course. She assumed there yet more twists and turns ahead; in those lie possibilities and dreams. “Who knows what’s in store? I might yet be in for some exciting times.”

Her elderly orange cat, tired of being ignored, hopped onto her lap, brushed its head against the warm mug and snuggled into her lap, purring loudly. Transferring the mug into one hand, she stroked the cat’s fur as they both stared out into the dreary, unkept lawn.

“Life is good. Thank you,” she said to no one in particular, and smiled as she sipped some tea. “Not a bad flavor at all…”

About the author: Scott “Q” Marcus is the CRP (Chief Recovering Perfectionist) of www.ThisTimeIMeanIt.com. He is available for coaching, speaking, and reminders of what really matters at 707.442.6243, scottq@scottqmarcus.com or www.facebook.com/ThisTimeIMeanIt.

A Month of Gratitude

Almost everyone is into challenges these days.

If you own a fitness monitor, no doubt you are well aware of them: “Mary M challenges you to the workday hustle.” Because I have such a device, I receive challenges constantly. (For the record, I don’t accept them. Please don’t invite me.)

Recently, the craze which spread across the globe was the Ice Bucket Challenge. In this seemingly masochistic event, a bucket of ice and water was dumped over a person’s head to promote awareness of ALS (amyotrophic lateral sclerosis) and encourage donations. I was never sure the relationship between them, but, what the heck, it was for a good cause.

At the risk of being judgmental (okay, I’ll own it; I am judging), some challenges are simply downright weird. As illustration, the “eat it or wear it challenge,” where participants each place one food into one of a series of numbered paper bags. A bowl with folded slips of numbered paper, each corresponding to a bag, is passed among the contributors and each takes a turn choosing a number. He or she then has to either eat a spoonful of the food in that bag, or must wear said food. Yep, you read that right. It’s weird, isn’t it?

Anyway, tips to make this more stimulating include choosing foodstuffs such as baby food, hot sauce, and horseradish. The question remains, “Why would anyone do this?” Unsure. However, it’s safe to assume a prerequisite for this challenge is possession of way too much time on one’s hands, and a worrisome lack of culinary and fashion senses.

That said, I have a challenge for you. Don’t worry, you won’t have to protect your clothing.

Step 1: Take a deep breath, relax your posture; loosen your muscles, and settle yourself down. (Go ahead; do that now; I’ll wait).

Step 2: Think of something for which you are grateful. It matters not what it is. Feel it deeply; let it flow over you like a warm shower.

Step 3: Try and feel angry, frustrated, or sad while you feel grateful.

Can’t do it, huh? I knew that. It’s impossible to feel bad when you feel thankful. It can’t be done. Period. Gratitude and anxiety cannot exist in the same sphere; only one will survive.

So, to that end, as we enter the last month of the year, I figured — ever being the helper — that I’d provide a catalogue of reasons to stimulate gratitude; 31 of them to be exact, one for each day. Feel free to add your own.

I am grateful for…

As I click-clack away on my keyboard, we are less than one week out from the most divisive, disruptive, discordant, conflict-ridden — and expensive — midterm election in our history.

In the supposed interest of improving the lives of millions of our fellow citizens (not to mention our own), certain candidates and their supporters have espoused hatred, name-calling, and “dog-whistles;” rationalizing such actions (I suppose) with the logic: “The ends justify the means.” Woefully, some campaigns, once platforms for intelligent, wise, uplifting deliberation of principles and goals, have been jam-packed with half-truths, falsehoods — lies — with no regard for the damage to remain in the wake of the vote.

If you have read this far, I know you share my sentiment that Election Day cannot come too soon; our sanity depends on an end to this madness.

Yet, the bleak reality is that — although, yes, elections do indeed have consequences and next week’s will bring with it its own — very little will change in our national sentiment come Wednesday. Do not misunderstand; I am in no way cynically advocating to stay home and skip your responsibility. Do not misconstrue my statement to be, “It won’t make a difference.” It will. Whether you agree or disagree with the direction of our country’s trajectory, you have power: the ballot. Be not dismissive of this awesome privilege. One vote – your vote – does make a difference. Additionally, this is not another in the on-going cavalcade of public service announcements and celebrity lectures preaching at the masses to “get out and vote.” You know that. Go do it. You owe it to this country you call home.

What I am attempting to point out is that the disarray that got us to this heartbreaking state of affairs will persist after the votes are counted. Those who fail to understand history are forever condemned to repeat it. Should we therefore not address the conditions which birthed this fetid swamp, we’ll be standing in it again in 2020, 2022, 2024… I don’t think I could take this another time; I wager you feel the same. We must then — together — strive to end this national psychosis which smothers our nation.

Hence it is crucial that we take a different road.

To that end, I offer some ideas, no matter on which side of the political spectrum you find yourself.Read More

A Humboldt County Seminar, October 25, 2014