The holidays are coming! The holidays are coming!

Love the holiday season or hate it; whether you have a big family or a smal one; whether you're traveling or staying home; this time of the year is the most difficult time to stay focused and on track. That's why so many people give up on their goals and say, "I'll start again in January." It just seems like it's too dificult to keep moving forward. This year, you can make it different. You can actually enter January feeling like you're on track and moving forward.

Make fourth quarter 2014 your best ever by attending this exciting end-of-year event!

Based on "The Big 5 of Habit Change," by Scott "Q" Marcus, this is the fourth - and possibly most important so far - in a series of uplifting, educational, playful seminars to help you get past what holds you back. In a safe, playful, creative environment with other like-minded folks, you will develop simple tools to help identify the barriers you face and then develop easy steps to allow them to overcome those obstacles so that when fall and the following holidays come barreling through, you'll be happier, healthier, and more successful.

Even if you don't celebrate the holidays, this program is essential for your own mental health.

What will we do at the session?

We will line out which days (and weeks) will be most problematic
Using the support of the group, we will come up with solutions to your most vexing problems
We'll use a four-question technique to make sure your objectives can actually get done
We'll set out a stategy to do it
You'll work out a agreement with yourself and with someone else to support you
You'll have fun and feel encouraged and motivated

You will also have the option to continue to be supported for the entire year.

To see a more complete agenda and all the FAQs, scroll down.

Why should you attend? Summed up: If you feel overwhelmed or overloaded - especially at this time of year - this seminar will send you on your way focused and enthused. You will have:

More self-confidence, leading to the ability to do what you normally would not do
Improved attitude, making you happier so you enjoy your life more. It will also help you have better relationships with the people you care about
Better understanding of yourself, causing you to not feel like a victim but to feel empowered. It will also give you the ability to block future problems earlier, before they grown to be unmanageable.
Better health so you can live a happier, longer, less-stressed life

Who would most benefit from this session? In a nutshell: if you have ever been frustrated with yourself, this is for you!

Baby boomers, especially women, who are concerned that poor habit choices are lowering their quality of life
Anyone wanting to lose weight or change other bad habits
People who are interested in or appreciate self-improvement seminars
"Graduates" of previous sessions

The Details:

Coffee/tea will be served
Dress is casual; the more casual the better
100% satisfaction no-hassle guarantee: If you attend and you don’t think it’s worth it, you get your money back. No questions. No arguments.

To see a more complete agenda and all the FAQs, scroll down.

To see all the FAQs, scroll down.

A Testimonial from a Past Client

(Who continues to attend)

Where will it take place?

Humboldt Bay Aquatic Center (next to the Adorni Center) 921 Waterford Drive Eureka, CA 95501

October 25, 2014 10AM-1PM

Event Registration Online for This Time I Mean It! Staying on Task & Focused During the Busiest Time of the Year powered by Eventbrite

FAQ:

Will this be a repeat of previous sessions?

No.

Although the theme, "5 Habits," remains in place and we'll do a recap and an overview in each session, each session is a stand-alone seminar.

You say it's "interactive." What happens if I don't want to get involved?

You don't have to. You can just sit and observe. The number rule of the session is that it's a "safe place to be." Be as involved as you feel like.

Can I register at the door?

It depends on how many people pre-register. The room has limited space. (Plus you save money if you register in advance.)

What happens if I'm not happy with what I got?

There is a 100% satisfaction no-hassle guarantee: If you attend and you don’t think it’s worth it, you get your money back. No questions. No arguments.

How do I dress?

Casual; anything but naked. (But, if you really want too...)

Will food be served?

No. However, there will be coffee, tea, and water.

Will there be breaks?

Yes, at least one.

What is the cancellation policy?

If you cancel 96 hours (4 days) or earlier, you will get a full refund, but it will take up to 14 days to credit you (although it might be quicker). If it's less than 96 hours or less, we'll give you full credit for future presentations or towards coaching. It will be valid for one year.

I'm still unsure. What else can I do?

Call Scott at 707.442.6243 or contact him via the on-line form.

Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life

It’s hard to believe the holidays are upon us again.

I know I say this every year, (admit it, you do too) but it always seems like a surprise. Stores starting setting up Halloween displays sometime around March (slight – but not much of an – exaggeration.) Christmas displays have been unveiled in the big box outlets for several weeks already. And, almost as quickly as it began, summer has left us for cold mornings, thick jackets, and wool caps.

Especially after being hunkered down for almost two years, it can be difficult to stay on track during the upcoming “holiday party season,” that period from when Halloween candies hit the store shelves until the last New Year’s party has faded with the final chords of Auld Lang Syne. This is not new. We’ve all been around the block a few times; we know how difficult it can be to get back on track come January. We could just stay on course for the next couple of months. Yet, if we all know what this time of year is like, why do we do this to ourselves every year?

The answers are numerous, but at the core is “habit.”

To permanently change habits, we need an accurate understanding of what they are. Most people mistakenly consider habits to be repeated behaviors done without thought; developed over time. Whereby that’s partly true, it misses focusing on the more significant elements: everything which precedes the behavior. Not understanding the entire chain condemns us to be victims of our actions instead of their masters.

That said, let’s re-define more accurately what exactly is a habit: “A recurring pattern of thoughts and feelings triggering a repeated behavior, which all work together to simplify our lives.”

We are not mindless Zombies, aimlessly wandering the landscape, driven by impulse and instinct, reacting without any control. Instead, since most of us have functioning brains, we develop patterns – rituals – which allow us to lower the cacophony between our ears and think less. The benefit of which is that it simplifies our lives by putting much of it on autopilot. After all, it’s hard to constantly be “on,” we need relief.

There are three components to habits.

Here we go again

This column will not be like most of my others.

I consider this space to be a respite from the negativity that seems to crash as a tsunami over us without end. To that point, I’m working on acceptance and surrender; and to my credit, I think I’m doing well at it. It’s the bedrock of my spiritual principles and beliefs. I really do (mostly) believe that all is unfolding as it needs to and the Universe is conspiring for our greatest good.

However, just like you I’m a real person, and I imagine just like you, I’m having a hard time processing what’s happening to us yet again. I’m really ornery about what I think is a preventable fourth (or is it the fifth) wave of the pandemic.

I held faith that when 2020 came to its close, for so many reasons, life would improve. I don’t think any of us felt we’d hold hands and sing Kumbaya while we shared a Coke and taught the world to sing, but there was a bright star rising in the dark sky and, especially as the vaccine made itself known, there was a collective deep breath; a sigh of relief.

Oh well. Here we are, into another surge which is already worse than last summer as well as having the added insult of being preventable if not for people being selfish. (Yes, I get it; some people cannot get a shot but that’s a small percentage of the unvaccinated. Most are either misinformed, confused, or – for whatever reason – consider the vaccine a political statement.) What makes it more frustrating than last year is that in 2020, COVID was still novel and we didn’t know what we were doing; the science was unfolding and we didn’t have a vaccine. Its spread was unavoidable.

Now, 18 months later, we know what to do. We have tools. We could stop this damn thing in its tracks – if it wasn’t for the lies, conspiracy theories, misinformation, and too many folks concerned only about “What’s in it for ME?”

I got my vaccine as soon as I could. Virtually everybody I know did the same. Yes, we did it for our own protection, but there was also a sense of community spirit, patriotism, and a realization that we have to all work together for the greater good to overcome a common enemy. It felt hopeful. I was proud.

Yet, as they say, “all good things must come to an end” and now we watch as people needlessly die or have their lives ripped apart because they refused to do the right thing. Read More

The Perfect Prescription

I don’t like going to the doctor.

It’s not that I don’t like my doctor; he’s great. It’s that it puts my impermanence on full display, stripping away the denial of immortality; even when it’s simply a routine checkup. Something about being in a medical office raises my blood pressure as well as fear level.

“How are you feeling?”
“You’re the doctor; wouldn’t it be up to you to tell me?”

He chuckled an inner warmth that blended well with his extensive knowledge. As I said, I like my doctor. In a time where the medical providers are overworked and under-appreciated, rushing here to there to accomplish everything required of them, he always appeared totally attentive during the short time we spent together once a year.

“Are you exercising?”
“Yes, I walk about 30 minutes at least five times a week – plus I take my dog out each day. That’s not really exercise because we have to stop and pee at every bush we pass.” I paused, then corrected, “Well, it’s not WE to have to stop and pee; it’s him. Just clarifying…”

He smiled again.

“Your blood tests all show that everything is as it’s supposed to be. You’re a healthy man.” He paused. “So, how’s your life?”

The question knocked me on my heels for a brief flash; not a query I expected from an MD, but, when you think about it, it makes perfect sense. One cannot heal the body while ignoring the mind and spirit. As I took a mental inventory of “how is my life,” I opened up about the waning days of my career, my aspiring spirituality, family drama, life goals, and the passing of years in general.

Says singer/songwriter John Mellencamp in The Real Life:Read More

Celebrating Values

Sometimes, I have a clear and direct idea of where I’m going before I start these columns.

I can see the way visibly laid out in front of me. Alas, those days are rare. Mostly, I stare at a blank screen until my muse makes herself known. Sadly, she might not stay. Other times, the column takes on a mind of its own. I start out going one way but end up somewhere else. Today is one of those days. We will commence in one direction, but — fair warning — will take a sharp turn. Fret not, however, I will bring you home.

That said when did answering the phone become an invitation for someone to sell you a car warranty, lie about an arrest warrant out for you, or threaten you because your computer was “messing up the internet”? We don’t pick up anymore unless it’s a number we sure-fire recognize.

Not paying attention, I made the mistake of sliding “accept the call.”

“How are you?” asked a heavily-accented man.

Yanked back into awareness, irritated by what I judged was going to be a scam, I indignantly replied. “I died last night.”

Waited long enough to hear his reply before hanging up; I heard him say, flummoxed. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

I find the delivered-without-thought question, “How are you?” to be disingenuous. Don’t get me wrong; when asked by someone who knows and cares about your actual well-being, it’s a sincere, kind query. Yet typically, we say it because, well, I’m not sure. I guess we don’t want to appear rude. However, asking a personal question when, in reality, you don’t want to take the time to hear the honest answer is indeed rude. Just sayin’…

Oft times, I’ll respond with an expression I learned from talk show host Thom Hartmann, “I’m great – but I’ll get better.” Some laugh, finding the retort clever, shattering the mold of what they expected to hear. Others have said, “Oh no! I hope you get better soon,” obviously not listening to the reply, but wanting to move on to their real agenda and avoid the unpleasantness of listening to someone’s ailments.

Yep, you guessed it; I’m a little cranky today. Shields up.

Seeing Clearly

I am nearsighted.

Not your everyday, run-of-the-mill, I-can’t-see-the-bottom-line-on-the-eye-chart nearsighted; I instead am referring to objects further than six inches away appearing as a blurry mass. From the moment I rise until the last second before I go to bed, I must wear glasses. Should they fall and I can’t immediately find them, panic crushes me until I recover them. Without them, I am virtually blind. They feel as much a part of me as — quite literally — the nose on my face. I am fortunate however that my prescription allows correction to near perfection.

So, I became concerned when, of late, looking at light on dark, I have been experiencing “halos.”

Two examples: When the subtitles on the movie are white against black, the text is blurry. More problematic, when driving at night, although I can see clearly cars, roads, and signs; taillights and street lights lack the same crispness. It’s unnerving enough that I stopped going out after dark.

My father was a hypochondriac’s hypochondriac; he would solicit a second medical opinion when the doctor told him he was healthy. I don’t mean to make light of it; I point it out to somewhat explain my resistance to going to doctors; an irrational backlash to not being my dad. Therefore, for me to visit an eye specialist over my symptoms will shed some light (um, no pun intended) on how seriously I took this change in my vision and resultant alteration to my lifestyle.

If this scenario sounds familiar, you know where I’m going. If not, the cause of my optical degradation is cataracts. According to the Mayo Clinic, “A cataract is a clouding of the normally clear lens of your eye. For people who have cataracts, seeing through cloudy lenses is a bit like looking through a frosty or fogged-up window. Clouded vision caused by cataracts can make it more difficult to read, drive a car (especially at night) or see the expression on a friend’s face.” Approximately 200,000 people per year in the U.S. suffer from them.