Hanging on to past sadness and/or anger does nothing to help you lead a better life. Fear exists when we get too worried about the future. [Read more…]
“I lost a whole lot of weight,” she said, her voice almost a whisper.
No eye contact was made; instead she seemly excessively absorbed in staring at her shoes. “But now, not only have I put it back on, but I’ve added 20 more pounds. I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been. I can’t stand to look in a mirror. I don’t know what to do.” The sadness she felt practically dripped from her pores.
“That’s got to be frustrating,” I replied.
“…and frightening too!” she added. “When’s it going to stop?”
“Good question,” I answered, “What seems to be the cause?”
“Well, I’m obviously eating too much.” She tried to make it sound like an “ain’t-it-obvious” joke but the pain was louder than her laugh.
“That’s what’s so embarrassing,” she continued. “I just don’t know. It seems like I start out every day with great intentions. The problem is I work near a little mom-and-pop bakery. They make the best cakes and pies. So, on my break, I’ll find myself buying just one small slice, saying I’ll control myself. The next thing I know, I’m like a machine that’s eats everything! Then my inner voice says, ‘Well as long as you blew it, you might as well really blow it. You can always start tomorrow’ and I really go crazy! Every day is just like the previous one; same broken promises, same result.”
She paused; the gold hoop earrings she wore swung slightly under her brown shoulder length hair as she collected her thoughts. Picking up her gaze, she asked, “What do you think I should do?”
I always find that a difficult question.
Whatever you are feeling, whenever you’re feeling it – is real.
Your emotions are as real as your limbs and they have vital functions.
Of the four “primary colors of emotions:”
- Sadness cleanses
- Fear and Anger are each designed to protect
- Happiness builds community and enriches your life
It’s no one else’s right to change what you feel or to tell you you’re wrong. [Read more…]
The anger you feel might not be real.
The four “primary colors” of emotions are:
Virtually all other feelings come from some combination of those.
When you don’t think you can accomplish your goal, it’s because you’re looking too far down the road.
You’re thinking of all the things that could go wrong and of all the obstacles you must overcome, none of which exist if you can focus on the immediate.
When you’re overwhelmed and you’re afraid you won’t be able to achieve your goal, focus on what you can do right this minute.
Make it small enough that you’ll actually do it. [Read more…]