But Today I’ll Smile

I was stuck inside my house all day Saturday and Sunday because I had the worst migraine ever.

I was irritated that the pain was causing me to stay in my dark bedroom all weekend. Completely overwhelmed, I started to cry which only made the headache worse. I felt like it wasn’t fair because I work hard all week, and like anyone, I want to make the most of my weekends. I wasn’t hungry, I didn’t have the strength to work out, and I couldn’t even stand the mere sound of the TV. I just wanted to feel sorry for myself.  I wanted my boyfriend to feel sorry for me and take care of me. I just wanted to feel better. I just wanted to keep crying.

I went to the doctor last night to figure out why I had such a bad headache, and she just told me I have “the same virus that everyone has right now. Take some Advil Cold & Sinus, buy some nasal spray, and it will go away soon.” Not feeling too satisfied, I did what the doctor told me to, and I left. I was still annoyed.

I woke up today still feeling somewhat off, but something had changed.

Maybe it’s because today is my friend Ashley’s 27th birthday, but she’s celebrating in Heaven instead of here on Earth with all her family and friends.  Maybe that’s what made me realize how selfish I had been for being so consumed with my lack of a fun weekend. I quickly started feeling lucky that my worst problem was a stupid headache. Maybe it’s because I got a text from my sister saying she’d be home on December 18th for Christmas. Maybe it’s because I woke up warm and tangled up in our beautiful bed, the same bed I didn’t want to spend one more minute in over the weekend. That very same bed felt and looked different this morning. For the past few days, it felt like frustration. This morning, it felt reassuring. There’s comfort in knowing that I have a bed to wake up in and go to sleep in tonight. I felt honored to have an angel in Heaven to say Happy Birthday to.  I felt excited that I could start the countdown to when I would see my sister. I felt fortunate that I have a job to go to that provides health insurance which allows me to go to the doctor to find out I have nothing more than some aggravating virus. I felt thankful that I really do have everything I want, and I felt sad for the people who don’t. I felt honestly and truly blessed.

So, yes I cried a lot this weekend, but today, I think I’ll just smile.

About the author:   Holly is a 25 year old writer from New England who is on a journey to a happier and healthier life. She’s a firm believer in loving yourself, being kind to others, learning from mistakes, and letting go of what holds you back from being the best version of yourself.  Aside from writing, she enjoys eating healthy, staying fit, traveling to fascinating places, fashion, helping animals, spending time with family and friends, and meeting people that inspire and encourage her.  She loves to express her stories, ventures, and feelings through words and photographs. Writing about her life is a beautiful release, and she hopes to enthuse her readers along the way.  Learn more about her at www.thecatzmeow.net, or Hollyamber28@gmail.com

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