Be around friends and people who exemplify the character and success you wish to achieve.

One of the surest indicators of how well we do at anything is who we hang around with.

For example:

• If you wish to be healthier, hang out with healthy people.
• If you wish to be happy, hang out with happy people.
• If you wish to be appreciative, hang out with grateful people.

If you’re having trouble finding others who share your sought-after goals or attribute – you can be the first one.

(Others will find you.)

Every Monday, a new motivational memo is posted by Scott “Q” Marcus, Motivational Weight Loss Speaker and Life Balance and Productivity Expert. Subscribers to 21DayHabitChange.com and Scott’s coaching service get this – and many more benefits – sent to them directly. If you’d like to know more, follow this link.

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The rugged Welsh coastline usually fills me with excitement, but today I’m subdued as I stare out at the tranquil sea willing her to rise to my command.  The water has been unusually flat for some time and I feel broken, yet the only waves to break are the ones lapping at my feet.  I stand with my itching toes in the water, my redundant board clutched against my side like a knife.  I feel a stabbing pain which reminds me that my soul waits for me on a crest of a wave.  My heart feels as empty as the surfer-less sea.

But as I inhale the salty air and feel the sea breeze against my skin, I begin to feel calmed.  I ponder on what message Mother Ocean is giving me, she always has a message.  Sometimes it’s passion, it’s power or the immense grounding of being at one with the untamed Ocean Herself.  Suddenly it becomes clear as I see my reflection in the water. A wave of emotion comes over me as I realise she is echoing life. Sometimes, being flat and calm is unavoidable, necessary even – A time to take stock and reflect.  But you shouldn’t live in the quiet safety of gentle, familiar waters for too long – too scared to make a change in your life.  “Change is inevitable,” the Ocean whispers as I watch a gentle set begin to form on the horizon.

We all need to learn from the Ocean’s courage, to rise up from the stillness to become the greatest force we can be.  We need to crash around wildly, dance under the moon, follow our hearts, fulfill our dreams, explore and discover.

Somewhere in the world I know the Ocean roars with approval…

About the Author:

Angharad Rees is a freelance writer and poet contributing articles and poetry to international magazines and commissioning personalised poetry gifts. Her blog www.emotionfromtheocean.blogspot.com shares uplifting and inspirational posts to help inspire life lessons from everyday situations. Angharad’s no fixed abode has seen her travel from the Welsh shores to the Australian coast where her wanderlust for exploring emotions and the oceans continues.

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She introduced herself and asked if I had ever worked with someone like her.

“No,” I replied.

“On the other end of this line is someone hearing-impaired,” she explained. “When she wants to call someone, she contacts me and then types what she wants to say into a device. It then appears on a screen in front of me. I’ll read it to you. You reply to me. I type it back. It’s a slow process but it allows her to ‘talk’ to you. Ready?”

“Yes,” I replied hesitantly.

She then — in a stilted, halting manner — read the words as they traipsed across her screen. Not waiting for full sentences to appear, she pronounced each syllable as it materialized, like someone reading a news crawler on the bottom of the TV screen; with the caveat being that the text was scrolling too slowly. Not only was it a sluggish process, it was eerie, and unnerving.

“My… name… is… Mary…” read the operator. “I’m… sorry… to… tell… you… that… your… father… has… passed… away…”

Some background is in order.

Over the nine years I’ve been publishing this weekly column, I have written about my wife, mother, children, grandmother, aunts; even my pets. However, there’s a glaring omission: my father.

Obviously, I had one; and yes, I knew him. However, we didn’t get along and my rebellion manifested itself as me growing up to be his polar opposite. Over the years, I invested a great deal in therapy to release myself from the behaviorial bonds that I felt shackled me to a person I did not want to be.

Fathers and sons have had differing viewpoints since Adam and Abel.

Understanding that, I tried to maintain a relationship; even moving him up here when things got tough for him. However, after he split in the dead of night, requiring me to clean up his financial and actual messes, our relationship bottomed out. We stopped speaking.

This odd phone communication was the first time I had any contact with his world since that time, several years prior.

“How did you know my dad?” I asked.

“I… was… living… with… Sy… He… was… a… warm… and… wonderful… man…”

The conversation — like my relationship with my father — then deteriorated, becoming kaffkaesque, with Mary blaming me for every ailment my father ever had, physical, emotional, even hypothetical. To say I was upset would be an understatement, as I had shut the door on that stage of my life a long time ago.

Or so I thought.

Years passed and the resentment I harbored against my dad — and now Mary, whomever she was — never diminished. Obviously, it didn’t make sense, but isn’t that the thing about much of anger?

As a child, I remember my dad buying an Ed Ames album for my mother. On that LP was a song, My Cup Runneth Over. I remember them dancing in the kitchen while he sang it to her. It is one of few fond memories I have of their relationship.

For some reason, years after the call from Mary, I heard that song and realized that I feel the same way about my wife today that my father must have felt about my mother five decades ago. It made me realize that what I feel must be similar to what he felt.

Put another way, a measure of my father still lives within me.

He wasn’t a perfect man; none of us are. I’m sure he’d do things differently if he could. (Wouldn’t we all?) But to dislike someone whose soul flows through your veins is a form of self-hatred. Hence, I released and I forgave.

I do not condone much of what he did, and no, I’m still not similar to him. Yet, that song remains one of my favorites, despite its age. When I sing it, I feel I am channeling my father.

More importantly, I like that I am.

My dad, standing, center, back row. (With two of his brothers and their wives and his sister)

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It almost goes without saying that we all love to be appreciated.

What would the remainder of your day be like if:

• You did a “little something” around the house and your spouse said how much he appreciated it?
• One of your children called just to say he loves you and he’s glad you’re his mom?
• You were weeding your yard and noticed some weeds growing in your neighbor’s yard so you decided to pull a few of them. A  short while later, there’s a knock on your door. It’s your neighbor, just saying “thank you”?
• You notice the person behind you in the grocery store line has only a couple things. You let him go before you. He sincerely wishes you a wonderful day?

Obviously, you’d feel great. It’s because you were appreciated.

We cannot make anyone else appreciate us. Yet, we sure can take the time to appreciate someone else.

Take a moment each day to appreciate a simple act. 

You’ll appreciate how great it makes YOU feel.

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Nobody makes anybody feel anything.

We learn to react to events by feeling certain ways. We can learn to react differently if we want to.

It won’t always be easy but it’s definitely  worth it.

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Your attitude can make all the difference. 

It takes a lot of work to maintain a positive attitude. Proper planning and preparation will set you on the path to achieving the goal of living positively.  Follow these tips to learn how to unleash your positive side so that you improve relationships with friends and family, and impact coworkers and others around you.

Personal Assessment

The very first step is to take a self assessment.  Before you can proceed with any changes you should review your own disposition and current situation.  Take a long hard look and be honest with yourself.  This will not be easy, but it can be done.  You can’t change anything until you identify the areas that need the most emphasis.  Make a list and note down the negative aspects of your life.  Think about your attitude, how you live and your relationships.

Setting Goals

Set goals that are realistic and achievable within a certain time frame.  It is important that your goals are specific and measurable.  Goals should be flexible to change and adapt as your life changes.  Keeping your goals realistic gives you something to work toward and keeps your focus on track.  The key to learning to follow through with anything in your life is goal setting.  Without measurable goals you can’t establish a path that leads toward your own success.

Learning Skills

Personal development relies on various strategies in execution.  Start your day with positive quotes or affirmations.  Start by reading affirmations others have written and then begin developing your own.  By readily incorporating new developmental tools you can encourage motivation and relieve stress in your daily life.

Get a Coach

Everyone needs someone in their corner to cheer them on or keep them on their path toward their goals.  It’s a good idea to consider hiring a life coach.  With the help of a coach you have someone with you each step of the way to help you stay focused on your goals.  They can provide you with feedback on your path to positive living.  They can motivate, lift your spirits and help you make reasonable adjustments to your goals as necessary.

Measuring Progress

By regularly monitoring your progress you can tell whether or not your plans are working out.  You can effectively measure how far you have come and just how close you are to achieving your goals.  This can be a strong motivational tool to keeping you on the path of perseverance until you make the changes you need  As you see your progress unfold it will go a long way toward helping you feel a real sense of fulfillment.

As you build and maintain a more positive direction you will see that positive living has helped you in all aspects of your life.  Positivity doesn’t mean that you ignore any problems that may arise, but simply that you handle them with a different approach which leads to being more productive.

As you continue to expand your newly creative thinking processes you will find more things in life that you are grateful for.  You might want to start keeping a journal at this point.  This is another powerful way to relieve stress and to maintain your focus over obstacles that may stand in your path.   You will also find it is easier to maintain a healthy diet and exercise.  You will attract more positive relationships into your life.  Over time you will learn not to feel defeated if you don’t meet the end result of your goals entirely, but learn how to make adjustments and corrections to help you get there.  You will see that making the actual journey is the biggest part of reaching the goal.

Bio: Life Coach Hub is a community of coaches dedicated to improving your life. Read expert tips and articles from our life coaches and find a life coach in our directory. Connect with one of our life coaches for a free coaching call to help you reach your positivity potential! Find out more at www.lifecoachhub.com

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But there are ways to take initiative and achieve some of the goals you set for yourself any time of the year, not just the end or beginning. After all, you don’t need a new year to make a new you. 

Set Long Term Goals

The biggest reason that people don’t act on their New Year’s resolutions or any resolutions for change is that they forget about them until they feel it is too late to start them, but it is never too late. One way around this is to set long-term goals, rather than daily habit changes. So instead of saying, “I’m going to run every morning” and then using the fact that you didn’t start January 1st as an excuse to not start January 23rd, set the goal of “becoming more fit”.

Of course, goals need parameters, and the more specific you are, the more likely you are to achieve them. But your real goal isn’t to run every day, it is to get in shape, or start living healthier. So when you wake up on January 23rd and remember “Oh, I’m supposed to be getting in shape” you can assess how to get there from where you are. Now morning runs are an option, because it doesn’t come with the caveat “I ran every day… well, I started late, and missed some weekends, but I ran a couple times!”

So if you have the overall goal of “Getting in Shape” you can then write out how you plan on getting there. Sub-goals might be “Exercise” and “Eat Better” Then you can list action items that will get you there. But if you slip a little you can always add new action items, or change your plan to be more realistic or effective. This way you can still achieve your overall goal, because you have the ability to adapt without feeling like a failure.

Don’t Let Yourself Forget

Another way to make sure you reach your resolutions is to make sure you remember them. This can be done in many ways. Post your goals on your mirror, your fridge, your tv- any surface you look at regularly. Tell your friends and family your resolutions and ask that they keep you accountable and check in about how you are doing. Put goal deadlines in your phone calendar, send yourself email reminders, or include it in an online invitation to yourself with the New Year’s party you went to (or any party for that matter). Do whatever it takes to keep your goals in the forefront of your mind.

Use multiple strategies. After a week or so, that paper on your fridge will become commonplace, and just blend in with everything else. We don’t always see the things that are part of our everyday lives. So challenge yourself to change things up, and keep your focus on the end goal.

Make Little Changes

Big changes only come about when little changes are made. Think about how we grow. Day-to-day is pretty much the same. But a year goes by, and we might notice some changes. 10 years go by and we could be a completely different person. Those years are made up of individual days, and though the days themselves don’t seem to bear any significant changes, they add up. Here are some little things you can do to get on the way to big changes.

If your goals involve becoming more social or healing/developing relationships, set aside a day each week to go to coffee or lunch with a friend. This little break will be great for both of you, and will get you in the habit of spending more time with people.

Keep in touch with faraway friends and family by making regular phone calls. Even if it’s once a month, they will love hearing from you. Set aside a little time to write letters or send emails. For a personal touch, send invitations or cards to let people know you’re thinking about them. It will bring a smile to their face and a touch of fun to correspondence.

Most New Year’s Goals involve physical appearance in some way. If you’re not someone who exercises regularly, it can be hard to start, but quickly becomes addicting. Even taking a walk a couple times a week can get your energy going, and soon you’ll be jogging, doing stretches and sit-ups, and maybe even going to the gym.

About the author:

Nancy Arnold is a graphic artist and writer, with a particular focus on producing fun and interactive designs for kids birthday invitations. She loves parties of all kinds, and when she happens to not be at a party she can probably be found shooting paintballs at her friends.

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Today’s Motivational Memo was obviously inspired by the fact that it’s Memorial Day and we need to honor those who have served our country – and especially those who paid the ultimate sacrifice.

However, without diminishing our armed services, it’s importantly to remember that we can also honor the sacrifice of others who make our communities better.

For example, those people who:

• Teach our children
• Protect our streets
• Take care of our children and our elderly
• Minister to our poor
• Keep us healthy
• Volunteer for the needy and less fortunate
• Watch over their neighbors

If you know a veteran, take the time today to salute him or her.

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It’s about 3 minutes long; easily worth it.

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Having stated that, I am so very sick of fog, grey skies, cold wind, and dampness.

Last week, I was speaking in Eastern Washington. One evening, my lovely wife and I walked to a restaurant. You know what? We didn’t have to wear a jacket, and no, we weren’t shivering, not a twitch! Nope, just a nice leisurely stroll; holding hands, wearing shorts and donned in short sleeves no less. The temperature was 75, the sky was postcard blue, a light breeze caressed our skin and in the distance, the setting sun was beginning to cast the most beautiful blood-orange red pattern behind marshmallow clouds.

Where I live, even in the spring, so much of the time you cannot go outside at night (let alone during the day) unless you’re wearing a parka, gloves, wool cap, and scarf. (Okay, that’s a slight exaggeration – but not much.) It would be so wonderfully enjoyable to relax on our deck during the evening and not shiver.

Like I said, I grow weary of dreary.

And now that I’ve got my cranky pants yanked snug, I’ve also grown tired of people throwing garbage on my property during the wee hours. Many mornings I come outside for the first time (wearing parka, glove, and wool cap) and find discarded on my lawn is someone else’s trash. It could be a fast-food bag or a soda bottle. Once I found soiled diapers. Are you kidding me? I don’t get such self-centered mentality. Are there herds of self-absorbed oblivious garbage automatons who amble the dark hours randomly tossing crap on other people’s property? I mean, how hard is it to walk the extra five feet and put it in our garbage can? I give you my permission. I want my yard to look nice; this isn’t helping – and I get grumpy about it.

What can I say? I get irritable. It comes at me out of nowhere and I indulge my inner curmudgeon; as do my friends (which is probably why we’re friends). We get into the most delicious “ain’t it awful” sessions, lamenting about how different the world would be if we ran it.

But we don’t. Alas…

And in the midst of yet another temper tantrum, I watch with horror what can happen to an entire city in Oklahoma in mere minutes. Images flicker across my television showing what was once a community, just like mine; now nothing more than scattered timber, mangled automobiles, and shattered families. One day, you’re going about your business and – BAM! – Mother Nature flicks her tiny finger and everything you know is literally up-ended, destroyed, wiped out, gone.

I observe, mouth agape, as folks just like me pick through the ruins of what was once their house, expressions zombie-like, unable to accept the personal horror now confronting them. I desperately want to help, yet except for prayer, good thoughts, and a measly donation to the Red Cross, I am powerless to assist them.

There, but for the grace of God, go I.

In moments like these, I am reminded of what really matters. I am very thankful to throw away garbage from the lawn in front of my still-erect house, take my wife’s hand, bundle up in a jacket, and walk shivering into the fog.

Update on 5/23/13: A great video about a dog being saved from the tornado can be found here. Watch it.

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