Try as I might to stay away from kitty videos, I could not resist.
A bit of humor for your Friday. Enjoy.
I don’t like people getting mad at me. So oft times, I go out of my way to pre-appease them; assuming they won’t like something and sidestepping the issue all together. Yes, I realize I’m co-dependent and yes, I’m trying to stop; I even tried to form a support group for co-dependents but no one would give me per-mission. (Insert rim shot here…)
What this means is that I become concerned that my politics or opinions might show through my writing, resulting in me being harangued by internet “trolls” who have nothing better to do than spend every waking hour scouring the interwebs waiting to pounce on anything I write. (Self-importance much?)
I’ve been flamed because of my views on guns, political candidates, and even negative communication styles (obviously missing the irony). The column that garnered the most hate mail was a humorous piece where I postulated the theory that, based on a trip to New Orleans, the only foods allowed in the south must be deep-fried. (I was even accused of trying to re-ignite the civil war; really.)
Anyhoo… my concern with attempting to avert these curmudgeons can — at times — cause me to pick and choose my topics and words with extreme care. After all, someone a thousand miles away, reading my piece two weeks after I wrote it might feel awkward and shoot negative vibes toward me. Goodness knows! I wouldn’t want that to happen.
Like I said: co-dependent.
This piece however might cause a ruffle or two much closer to home, including in my own household so I now begin to tread in dangerous places.
New and recent findings, published in the journal Emotion, show that long-term marital satisfaction depends on wives — more so than husbands — regulating their emotions during arguments. Researchers from two major universities found that the happi-est marriages, in both the short and long-term, were those where the wives were able to regain their self-control quickly after disputes erupted.
The lead author of the study (whom I point out is a woman) said, [Read more...]
With the extra time, I find myself waiting for her at the hotel restaurant.
“What will it be this morning?” asks the waitress.
Studying the menu, I am engaged in a fierce internal debate between “responsible” (fresh fruit), and “desirable” (hash browns, bacon, omelet, croissant). Adult overrules inner child and I order “something light,” oatmeal.
Momentarily a bathtub-size basin arrives. Submerged in thick, rich, cream, smothered with a brown syrupy liquid of melted maple sugar, is my hot cereal. Realizing it’s too late to ask for non-fat milk and sugar on the side, I reassure myself the faux pas won’t harm my diet. Everyone knows unintended calories don’t count; fat cells realize the error and disregard the weight gain.
The waitress places a platter of sugary condiments on the table before leaving. At first, I am inclined to resist them, but re-evaluate. Maybe this is a local tradition; it would be rude to offend our hosts. Besides, I’m on vacation; it’s almost an edict that one sample new foods while traveling.
OK, old joke, but still funny.
There are two kinds of people in the world, those that eat when stressed, and those who don’t understand the situation well enough to be stressed. (If you’ve never had to lose weight, you won’t find that as humorous as those who do; sorry.)
I have a friend who’s beanpole skinny. “How do you stay thin?” I asked.
Replied this wisp of a man, “When I’m stressed, I lose my appetite.” Say what? Not eat when frazzled; on how many levels is that wrong?
So, I’m supposed to speak in another state in a few weeks. The agreement was executed early this year. Last month the phone rings.
“Hi Scott. We’re having budget issues, which requires the governor to now review every personal services contract to see if we’re going to go ahead with the agreement.”
“OK,” I reply, “This affects me how?”
“You have one of those types of agreements. But,” my contact quickly appends, “don’t worry, (famous last words) they’ve given a green light to the conference so we should have everything worked out in a couple days. After all, we can’t have a convention without speakers, can we?”