Don’t Expect Gurantees of Success

Note: We recently launched of a seminar series, “Five Things You Must Know To Make Your Life Better.”  As part of that series, one of the things we went over were the “10 Commandments of Changing Habits.” This is one of those “commandments.”

Expect not guarantees of success.

woman-running-through-tape

Setting goals does not guarantee you will get to have the results you want.

However, NOT setting them does guarantee that you will stay where you are.

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Time is Out of Your Control

time-is-passingNote: We recently launched of a seminar series,Five Things You Must Know To Make Your Life Better.”  As part of that series, one of the things we went over were the “10 Commandments of Changing Habits.” This is one of those “commandments.”

Thou shalt accept time is out of thy control.

The process will take more time than you want and it will be more complicated than you prefer – but it will neither take as long as, nor will it be as difficult as you fear.

Conversely, it will feel far better than you expect when you “arrive.”

When the road seems long, keep your eyes on the prize and focus on the benefits, not the effort.

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Placing the Control Within

Some time ago, I postulated that the locus of control for our lives is internal.

That might sound high fallutin’ and all, but it’s pretty simple; my take was that as long as we put control over what happens to us “out there” rather than squarely within, nothing will ever change. We will remain where we are in our development.

I state that without judgment, just pointing out a fact.

Delicious lasagne

For example, it may be true that Aunt Margaret is pushing the deep-dish lasagna she made “just for you” like a pasta addict enabler. Equally true is she gets offended when you turn it down, and saying “no” to her home cooking causes a family rift. It might also be accurate that your husband is unsupportive when he sits next to you munching obliviously away on your favorite flavor of potato chips, while you’re stuck in a funk with celery sticks and carrots. Yes, you’ve told him a thousand times that you’d like him to not do that, and yes, you’re right, he doesn’t seem to care.

However… (don’t you just hate that word sometimes?) the decision about whether or not to succumb to temptation or pressure – as difficult as it might be – still lies within; nowhere else. In effect, it lives within. As long as we say things like, “She made me…” or “I had no choice…” or “It was too hard…” we are committing to stay put.

I’ve seen Aunt Margaret when she’s ticked off and I don’t blame anyone for avoiding a Hatfield-McCoy blow out. But, whether we’re trying to lose weight, increase our income, or just plain be happier; as long as we allow others to determine our actions, they’re controlling us. It’s understandable that sometimes the “social price” we have to pay to follow our path doesn’t justify the return. Again, I’m not placing value; been there, done that; I’m just analyzing.

So what prompted this rehash of a previous topic?

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You Are Not Alone

Note: We recently launched of a seminar series,Five Things You Must Know To Make Your Life Better.”  As part of that series, one of the things we went over were the “10 Commandments of Changing Habits.” This is one of those “commandments.”

Accept thy journey is not alone

People holding hands

You run your own life.

If you want to change it, you have to take responsibility for where you are and where you’re going.

However, realize that those most closely tied to you will have to adjust, and they might – or might not – want to.

Keep others informed.

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Don’t Listen to Pressure

Note: We recently launched of a seminar series,Five Things You Must Know To Make Your Life Better.”  As part of that series, one of the things we went over were the “10 Commandments of Changing Habits.” This is one of those “commandments.”

Listen not to the pressure of others…

Woman-squeezing-stress-toy

Change because you want to or you need to, not because of external pressure.

It’s perfectly OK to stay where you are and continue to engage in your behaviors. However, own it.

Realize that is your choice and you are making it.

This gives you the power to change later – should you so choose.

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