Any conversation we’re willing to engage in electronically can usually be resolved much more quickly, effectively, and lovingly by having a live conversation, even if we’re scared to do so. The fear may be real, but most often the “threat” is not. Here are some things you can do to practice engaging in live conversations with people more often and, ultimately, to resolve your conflicts more successfully.
In the middle of a disagreement, we can get frustrated. When that happens, we might feel we’re not being heard so the natural reaction is to say it louder. That’s the exact wrong thing to do.
The hitch in the get along is that attitude is transparent and contagious. We can spot a “negative person” instantly. His supposed attitude is loudly broadcast via body language, facial expressions, even tone of voice. We return those perceptions without thought, making countless assumptions, which we communicate. The drawback is, as evidenced here, we might not be responding to what’s really going on inside of them, as much as to what’s occurring within us.
When both parties agree, the minor effort required to discuss disagreements in this fashion will lower emotional content, improve listening skills, direct both parties to “own” the results, and slash lots of time off the disagreement. All of which are better than an on-going, long-term fight.
Should you find yourself in that most unhappy state, it’s important to remember that the main thing is to get resolution, not to “one up” the other. (After all, how well do you react when someone tries to “one up” you?”)
The heat has been turned up on the uncivil rhetoric espoused by politicians and media kingpins. The common reply is “We have to tone it down on both sides.” I am concerned that as long as the meme is “both sides are responsible,” neither side will take action. As long as we can point a finger at someone else, even if others are pointing at us, we have an “out,” an escape, a way to avoid the responsibility we each hold. If change is truly our goal – whether it be our political discourse or our personal lives – we must understand that the only thing we can change is “us.” And the only part of “us” over which I have control is “me.”
Watch Scott in action.
Organizations and associations struggling with lots of change will find Scott's strategies on how to enhance productivity, reduce stress, and improve morale the perfect solution.
| Three FREE e-books & Four FREE Motivational Recordings! |
To receive these great gifts with no obligation, enter your email address in the box above to get our newsletter. You can unsubscribe any time.
Stay in Touch with TTIMI
