Rarely – if at all – does anyone WANT to change. The results of the change are what actually motivate us. Keep your focus on those.

It’s almost always frustrating when we compare where we are to where we want to go. It’s better to compare where you are to where you started. That way, you’ll see the progress.

This year, however, she would not be sucked into his dark drama vortex. Since her divorce, she was working on accepting things as they were rather than how they “should” be. Therapy, a fitness program, and losing 33 pounds; was allowing her to reclaim her life. She would not let her boorish brother steal that away — not tonight, not again.

If you’re feeling like your treading water, the problem is most likely that you’re trying to do too much; rather than not enough. Slow yourself down. Ask yourself, “What ONE thing will I do RIGHT NOW that I will complete?” Then, complete it BEFORE you move on to anything else.

Reality is if my indulgences were limited just to holidays, I wouldn’t have to lose 70 pounds. Celebrations were the validation I used to reaffirm that “weight loss is too hard.” Failure sat at the head of every holiday meal table as the unwelcome guest, “Give up – start again later.”

The first rule of habit change says that when the pain from the “side effect” of the habit outweighs the benefit of the habit itself then it’s time to make a change. However, if you don’t find something else to replace the void left by getting rid of the problem habit, it makes it more painful and less likely. That’s why it’s important to reward your yourself when you make a change. The question is how?

When changing your habits, do not focus on what you have to give up; look toward what you will receive in the end.  Change involves letting go of something, whether it’s a relationship or a way of life. That can be sad or frightening. Since no one WANTS to feel those, we tend to hang [...]

Striving to be perfect is at best a barrier to actually getting “better,” and — in many cases — an excuse or a justification to avoid having to change one’s bad habits.

We make the process more difficult than necessary, gunking it up with all manner of artificial mental barriers and obstacles. Instead of accepting what must be done, we lament the process of change; stubbornly hanging on to the ineffective, seeking to finagle my way around what is required. We devise excuses for not waking in time to exercise, saying, “just this once won’t hurt” while nibbling leftovers from the refrigerator. We protest the higher price of healthier foods, opting instead for the long-term cost of greasy, crunchy, fried bags of chips. Our thoughts are the problem, not the diets.

The downside of a life assembled on a foundation of habits are the “side effects;” those unexpected results of our patterns. Make no mistake however; they are every bit as much a part of the habit as are the results we seek. For example, if I’m bored, I eat. If I’m angry, I eat. If I’m sad, I eat. It’s a common routine. It allows me to feel better fast. After all, chips or ice cream not only alleviate boredom, but also go a long way toward holding negative feelings at bay — for the short term. The side effect is a weight gain. I get to feel good quickly, for the simple price of obesity long term.

If you’re overwhelmed, overloaded, or can’t seem to get anything done, it’s usually because you’re thinking too big and you’re not making effective priorities. These two tips will give you a budding sense of organization and a sense of calm.

A human trait is the desire to please. We want to be kind, helpful and liked. That’s all wonderful, but what about when you can’t say no?

Instead of thinking how you feel right now, ask yourself, “What behavior will help me feel good five minutes from now?” Or if you can, “What will make me feel good tomorrow morning?” Most of the time, you’ll make the correct choice.