If you’ve ever wanted to quit a job – and do it with class, here’s the ultimate way to do it. Enjoy.
Since change only comes about as a result of fear, force, or pain; we’ll do what we can to deny we need to change as long as possible
— or at least until we’ve been psychically knocked upside the head long enough and can no longer disagree that things aren’t going as planned.
Should you wish to question that premise that change only comes about due to an excessive amount of yicky-ness, can we first agree that no one, not one person, wakes up, conducts a self-inventory, and exclaims, “Wow! Things are perfect! Let me see how I can muck them up”?
The unfortunate counter-reality is we decide to modify our lives only when two conditions are met:
- Life is not performing anywhere optimal level — and
- We can no longer fool ourselves into believing, should we follow the present course, it will change anytime soon
Only once we are defeated, will we begin the process.
It’s sad, but it’s true.
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If you want to build a better life, being grateful for the one you already have is a great place to start.
That’s the message Dr. Robert Emmons delivered recently through his work with the University of California-Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center. Emmons, an expert in the field of positive psychology, stressed grateful people empower themselves to construct ever more positive and happy lives.
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I am not a snob; anyone who meets me would agree.
Having placed that firmly on the table, I know I can be, um, shall we say, “particular” about certain things and at times, might be prone to splash myself with a faint — very faint — scent of curmudgeonly, especially around speaking and writing.
As illustration, this is the second month of the year, pronounced “Feb-RU-ary,” not “Feb-U-ary.” Should you doubt, you can find out that I’m correct at the li-BRARY (not the “li-BARY”).
I manage to keep my mouth about “Febuary” because one only has to deal with it for 28 days a year.
Yet, lasting seemingly in perpetuity is misuse of “your” and “you’re.”
The former is possessive while the latter is a contraction for, “you are.” Therefore, one would not write, “Your looking thin,” nor “I love what your doing with the house.” One might however write,
“When you’re on your way over, please let your hosts know if you’re bringing your children.”
See, isn’t that nicer?
Finally can we clarify that those of us on diets are attempting to “lose” weight, not “loose” it? (Ironically, “loose weight” is usually what started us on the path to “losing weight.”)
However, the expression that causes my head to explode is the self-important exaggeration, “There’s nothing worse than…”
This rose to my awareness on a TV commercial for an on-line postage service. In touting its (not “it’s”) benefits, a gentleman exasperatingly laments, “There’s nothing worse than standing in line at the post office.”
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If food is what sustains the body, gratitude nourishes the soul.
Today I am well fed.
Having lived in the same community for over 30 years, I believe I carry a relatively high, (hopefully) positive reputation. Within minutes of my home, I can stroll among the redwoods or along a rocky — albeit cold — beach. My house is not a palace, yet it’s not a cardboard box either and my “commute” to work, when not on a plane, consists of four stairs. When subjected to the hassle of airline travel, I often visit beautiful, wondrous locales and speak to and with fascinating people from all walks of life. I am nurtured by strong friendships and even though — like any long-term relationship — we can drive each other crazy, I am still deeply, teenage-style, crazy nuts in love with my wife. My hair is thinner, the brown has been replaced with gray; I grunt a bit more when I move than I did in younger days, but, even if I am forever watching my weight, my health is generally holding up, thank you very much.
I am beyond fortunate — although I forget far too often.
After the passing of his aunt, her family assembled at the house. On her refrigerator, among the collection of magnets and drawings, was an article I had written many years ago called “Five Words to Change Your Life.”
I do not recall if I ever met his aunt, but looking at the refrigerator magnets framed in the small snapshot, I know she had grandchildren and perhaps liked birds. I assume she traveled to Alaska, and she had a fondness for the iconic Dr. Seuss character, the Cat in the Hat (or more likely her grandchildren did). She was most likely a tidy woman. (I make that deduction because my article was cut with clear straight lines and hung level and centered on the refrigerator door.)
Although not directly posted on her refrigerator, like each of us, I know she had dreams, possibilities, and plans; although I do not know what they were. I hope she realized them before she passed.
I also know with certainty that she was loved and that she loved in return.
She could have been my aunt, or yours. Maybe she was.
Although my messages are posted in print near and far, and I am given the privilege of the speaker’s platform, each of us, whether as pebbles or boulders, is tossed into the same lake, spreading ripples in all directions. We touch and we are touched. Should we face final judgment, I am convinced the ultimate criteria will be how we affected those with whom we connected during our lives. For some day in the future, each of us will exist only in the memories and words of the ones we left behind. It is they, not we, who determine our legacy. Paradoxically, we create it, and do so in the present; right now, today, this instant.