Time is Out of Your Control

time-is-passingNote: We recently launched of a seminar series,Five Things You Must Know To Make Your Life Better.”  As part of that series, one of the things we went over were the “10 Commandments of Changing Habits.” This is one of those “commandments.”

Thou shalt accept time is out of thy control.

The process will take more time than you want and it will be more complicated than you prefer – but it will neither take as long as, nor will it be as difficult as you fear.

Conversely, it will feel far better than you expect when you “arrive.”

When the road seems long, keep your eyes on the prize and focus on the benefits, not the effort.

[Read more...]

Share and Enjoy

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Delicious
  • LinkedIn
  • StumbleUpon
  • Add to favorites
  • Email
  • RSS

You Are Not Alone

Note: We recently launched of a seminar series,Five Things You Must Know To Make Your Life Better.”  As part of that series, one of the things we went over were the “10 Commandments of Changing Habits.” This is one of those “commandments.”

Accept thy journey is not alone

People holding hands

You run your own life.

If you want to change it, you have to take responsibility for where you are and where you’re going.

However, realize that those most closely tied to you will have to adjust, and they might – or might not – want to.

Keep others informed.

[Read more...]

Share and Enjoy

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Delicious
  • LinkedIn
  • StumbleUpon
  • Add to favorites
  • Email
  • RSS

Too Bad We Need Support, huh?

Note: We recently launched of a seminar series, “Five Things You Must Know To Make Your Life Better.”  Each week we’re taking a quick look at each of the five. This is the last one of the five.

#5: Get support

group of friends

Can we be really honest?

If you could achieve your goals on your own, you would have already done so, right? As they say, “Nothing changes if nothing changes,” and if you continue to try and muscle your way through it, you’re actually holding yourself back.

It’s important to remember that each of us is at times a teacher and other times a student. In some areas we show others the way forward. In others, we must be guided.

There is no shame in learning – and there is great courage in asking for help.

Reach out; there will always be a hand ready when you need it. (You’ll repay the favor later.)

[Read more...]

Share and Enjoy

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Delicious
  • LinkedIn
  • StumbleUpon
  • Add to favorites
  • Email
  • RSS

Someday, somewhere, somehow…

At this very moment, a frustrated, frightened middle-aged woman is standing on a scale in a state of disbelief.

Depressed Overweight Woman

She hadn’t dare climb upon it for years, afraid of the number she’d see — and terrified of what it would mean. Today however, after finding nothing in the closet that fits, the anxiety of not knowing overrode the faux safety of denial.

Her fears were realized.

As she continues to stare at the number between her toes, confidence is dwindling. Lost, she understands she needs to do something. She’s also not sure she can.

Today, a foreman will unexpectedly be put face-to-face with the unpleasant reality that he isn’t as young as he used to be.

Long ago, feeling uncomfortable in ever-tightening pants, he shifted from a belt to suspenders. After all, he didn’t need to buy larger trousers; this was a temporary situation. As a million times before, he’d drop those “few pounds” as soon as things “settled down.”

Funny thing, that; they didn’t, and his belly now is profound. Having not been witness to his toes in a blue moon, moving has become laborious, bending a chore, and breathing — well, it’s just not as easy as it used to be.

Before today’s calendar changes pages, in the midst of a frustrating conversation with a client, his shortness of breath will ramp up severely; he’ll begin sweating profusely, feel light-headed, and become unmistakably aware of an overwhelming pain in his arms and back.

The day will end not at all the way he planned. [Read more...]

Share and Enjoy

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Delicious
  • LinkedIn
  • StumbleUpon
  • Add to favorites
  • Email
  • RSS

3 Issues You’ll Deal With When a Non-Immediate Family Member Dies

DepressionYou weren’t close with Uncle Fred, seeing him only on the holidays or the occasional dinner at your parent’s house. Even though you knew about his heart condition, his death still came as a shock to you. Your natural response to grieve is understandably accompanied by the urge to do something constructive. Since Uncle Fred was a non-immediate family member, you won’t be expected to make any of the arrangements. Still, reaching out to offer help and support would be cathartic.

You would think that, after centuries of dealing with death, there would be a cut-and-dry way to go about it. Unfortunately, there isn’t. Everyone is different and grieves in different ways, and for some reason — even when it’s expected — it takes you off guard. Though you feel helpless and are trying to deal with your own grief, there are things you can do to ease the suffering around you. And that alone can have a therapeutic effect.

Explaining It to the Kids

Whether you tell the children directly or they overhear a conversation, at one point you’re going to have to deal with explaining Uncle Fred’s death to them. Kid’s Health recommends being honest with your children and encouraging them to ask questions. This might be one of the toughest conversations you’ll ever have with them because, in addition to dealing with death on a personal level, you might not feel like you have the answers the kids are looking for.

According to Dr. Bruce Perry of Scholastic.com, you should share some of your feelings about Uncle Fred’s passing to reassure your kids that their own feelings are valid. Your children will likely have questions about what happens after death, so discussing the passing of a family member is also an appropriate time to discuss spiritual beliefs.

Offering Help and Support

When you have to deal with the death of a family member, no matter how close, it’s a contradictory time in your life. The grieving process itself is a personal one, yet death compels you to reach out to others to give and receive support. It’s important even for those who pride themselves on their strength to lean on friends and family when coping with death. When you’re offering support, don’t be overwhelmed by a feeling of helplessness.

There are a number of little things you can do such as deliver a homemade meal, offer to run errands, clean the house or simply send a hand-written note to convey your sympathy and concern. If you’d like to send something along with your note, visit a website like FTD for sympathy gift ideas. Prayer plants and different varieties of lilies are always appreciated, but you’ll find other thoughtful items such as food and drink gift boxes, plaques and figurines, as well.

Walking That Fine Line

It can be easy to overstep boundaries in your eagerness to help and offer support. Think things through before speaking or acting to avoid making the situation worse for others. Don’t offer unsolicited opinions or advice. Everyone grieves differently, and the things you may have personally found helpful in the past, such as removing the deceased’s pictures or clothing, might be shocking or painful for those closest to him.

Don’t try to rush the grieving period, either. Whether it’s day one or a year later, it’s never appropriate to advise the grieving to “get over it.” Even telling someone that she’ll get over it eventually offers no comfort because, at the time, it feels like she never will. Ultimately, the best thing you can do is stay in touch and offer to be there if any help is needed, whether it be a shoulder to cry on or a ride to the supermarket.

About the Author: Elizabeth Lambert volunteers with several energy conservation groups and loves to write about green living.

Share and Enjoy

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Delicious
  • LinkedIn
  • StumbleUpon
  • Add to favorites
  • Email
  • RSS